this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Can Jesus turn the water in wine into wine?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 hours ago

Jesus invented brandy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Miss when superheroes had vague wording in their powers, leap great distances could scale up and down , mean anything

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

So you're nostalgic for the Golden age? How old are you?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

thats just most of what they had in the library growing up, 25 lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago

Fucking weak as humans now. In my day we were 75% water and probably like 5-15 % lead. /S

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 hours ago

I bet it would take a long time for that body to rot.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (4 children)

This seems like a XKCD / Randall Munroe "What if" kind of question. I.e., how long would a person survive if all of the water inside them was turned into wine?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

What if all the water turned to wine at 1 standard drink per hour

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

That's what I'm talking about. OK then.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

To be specific, it'd likely immediately fuck up the electrical signals in the brain, thus killing the brain.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Wine is 15% alcohol.

Human are 60% water.

Human weight around 70kg

70 x 0.6 = 42 L

42 x 0.15 = 6.3 L of pure alcohol.

You'd probably die before ingesting that amount tho

[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

A quick search suggests that blood is 80% water. Turning that into wine at a weak concentration of 5.5% results in around at 14.5% BAC which is over 10 times greater than the highest ever recorded, so it would be certainly lethal.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 hours ago

Wine is 80-90% water, but all that alcohol and other flavor compounds directly in your bloodstream would not be good.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah, but how long before I croak?!?!? I need to know now!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 hours ago

Pretty much immediately. You wouldn't even know it.

Acidic pH like wine denatures proteins. It would destroy you on the cellular level, basic cell functions would cease to work. You could say it would stop your breathing or cause an instant heart attack, but it would be more like as if it fried your brain and heart like an egg in an instant.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I have a different question. How much wine extract can i add to the water in my body to be able to correctly state i exist out of 80% wine and still live.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 hours ago

That's much easier. If you weigh 100kg (220lb) it's W/(100 + W) = 0.8, and solving for W gives 400.

If you eat 400 kg of wine powder then 80% of your mass will be wine.

This will kill you, and it doesn't actually matter what powder you choose to eat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Never been impressed by the "water to wine" miracle.

My S/O can turn anything into whine.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

Did you have to help a chicken cross the road making that joke?