this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

The ability to shapeshift doesn't really get affected by this caveat, so that remains about as appealing as it was before.

Taken to an extreme, one can get a controllable/turn-off-able biological immortality and at-will violation of conservation of matter/energy.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Everyone within my earshot has to tell the truth.

Works with TV, radio. Any real time communication.

I think this should also work on myself

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I would use this power to make a communist organization of my choice completely immune to infiltration

Imagine an America without COINTELPRO

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I'd chose telekinesis. Heck man i'm sick of having only 2 hands and i'm lazy. I'm ready to use it everytime.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

God of Toilet Paper.

You might laugh, but I would own the world.

If you were in my favor, you would get the softest, never-chafing, cleanest single-wipe-clean TP ever. No matter what you ate, no matter how spicy, no matter how ill, you could be assured of pain-free, cooling, soothing, wipes. It would be beautiful. Rainbows and peace, no matter how violent the shit

Piss me off? Anything you choose to clean your backside with is then designated TP. I will clog all the toilets, all the plumbing, all the sewers. I can make it all gympie-gympie leaves, sandpaper, wax paper, or just vanish mid-wipe. No matter how much you wiped your already raw ass, there would still be more. I would be a scourge on the Earth, and all would have to bow down before me. You would love me. You would hate me.

He who controls the comfort of the sphincter, controls the world.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

a whole gallon of jizz every time i cum

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Kegel would hate you

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

yes ๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Power to make people have empathy.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The power to see through clothing. Because it would remind me that no one is really important.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Umm... Sure that's why you want that

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I mean, why else? Unless you're surrounded by swimsuit models, most of what you'd see isn't that pleasant. Plus everybody's body would be smushed from their clothing, so it'd look kind of wonky.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Recon countering regret

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Sixth sense/ Intuition

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Just stay fit

[โ€“] [email protected] -1 points 1 week ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You are now Cyamites, the god of beans. Use your powers wisely.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Could be worse. Highly nutritious foodstuff providing plenty of vitamins, protein, and fiber. I could do a lot to alleviate some world hunger immediately. Making people fart all over the world would be fun, too.

I could also put beans in the no-bean-chili gatekeepers chili. Evil bean god could be fun, too.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I love the idea of evil bean god! Thought it was a nice easter bunny chocolate? BAM, BEANS.

THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CELEBRATING ANOTHER GOD, HERETIC.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There is petty revenge and then there is this.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Revenge is a dish best served with beans.

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