neurodiverse
What is Neurodivergence?
It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
Rules
1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them
2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence
2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals
3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.
3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith
4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!
Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input
RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed
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I struggled with behavior very similar to yours, especially during a stressful time in my twenties.
"so me raising my voice or just exasperatedly saying "fuck", not at him, but at the thing, is really upsetting to him. I don't see the big deal because my mother is a fucking cyclone of screaming and chaos so I'm very tame in comparison."
I've said this exact thing, goodness.
Well here's the thing, even if you're not yelling at anyone in particular, being in the presence of someone yelling into the void, even from frustration, comes off aggressive and can be scary to a bystander regardless of intention. It took me far too long to figure this out. I really mean it, if you were in a room with someone slamming shit and screaming fuck loudly, would you feel comfortable? A lot of growth happened when I realized I was affecting the people around me negatively despite it not being directed at them. ..Too damn long to learn this..
I think back to these similar outbusts and think, I was crying for help. In those moments, I felt so overwhelmed and frustrated I just wanted help. For me, that's what I was trying to communicate. Showing frustration in the most raw form freaks most people out.
If your goal is communicate for support, find words to do so.
Can't find the words until you deal with the blood rage from irritation. Still to this day when I'm feeling like this, the easiest thing I have found is to remove myself from my immediate environment and right away.
For simple example, come home with the groceries, realize something has gone wrong, you got the wrong item. It always feels so catastrophic doesn't it? Put the wrong item from the store on the counter and head to an outdoor space. Just don't do anything but get yourself to a physical, literal, happy place you've chosen. I like my porch and my back yard. But any place thats objectively different from where you currently stand. If you're outside, go inside, or vice versa I will straight up put myself in time out, but somewhere that will feel clam.
The idea is to engage your logical brain over your emotional.
Environmental change is the easiest way to do this I find. Meltdowns are tough to navigate because they feel right. Idk, today I can sense it coming and just do this. I leave all screens behind and find someplace with solace. Birdwatching for ten minutes will do the trick for me. Maybe listen to a certain playlist. But the goal is to engage the logical mind, and lower your blood pressure from exploding. Sometimes this practice only turns the rage to sad. But sad doesnt scare my people, disregulated overstimulation does.
Idk I'm no professional, I too still go to therapy weekly. It's tough out there.
I wish I could have learned to manage this when I was younger, but alas, maybe It could help you
Best of luck out there, I apologize I word vomitted here a bit, excuse me
There's a lot of good advice about emotional regulation here! I think there's some work that can be done around perspective, though- especially as you're coming out of burnout.
It seems like you're very attached to specific outcomes, like you don't know if you can manage or be safe if things don't work the way you imagine. Can you try to center your flexibility in these situations? Thoughts like, "this isn't what I intended but I can make this work," or "this will take a little longer now, but I still like doing this" (using cooking ingredients or computer work as examples). Feeling competent and capable leads to feeling safe, and positive self talk, even if it feels cringe at first, helps get you there faster.
No worries about the word vomit! I appreciate you being thoughtful about your response
Yeah, I wish I could understand this better. My partner & I have been together for like 8 years, and I can get really excited in general and really animated in front of him, especially when I'm complaining lol. And I've just done it for so long, I just hate that it still affects him. I care and want to be sensitive to his feelings, but it's just so so hard to contain. And it's generally not screaming, but it's still aggressive which is the point. I don't even realize that I'm being as aggressive as I come off, a lot of the time. Wish I was more in tune with it.
This is probably going to be the easiest thing to do when I'm in the space where I was today with the wrong purchase example. I will be leaving whatever room I'm in a LOT lol. I think the trauma from my last job really did a much more severe number on me than I think I realized, so I am just ultra agitated at the smallest things, it sucks. But detaching from my phone, especially in those moments will probably help too.
thank youuuu