this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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hexbear

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Hexbear Proposals chapo.chat matrix room.

This will be a place for site proposals and discussion before implementation on the site.
Every proposal will also be mirrored into a pinned post on the hexbear community.

Any other ideas for helping to integrate the two spaces are welcome to be commented here or messaged to me directly.

Within Hexbear Proposals you can see the history of all site proposals and react to them, indicating a vote for or against a proposal.

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All top level messages within the channel must be a Proposals (idea for changing the site), Feedback (regarding non-technical aspects of the site, for technical please use https://hexbear.net/c/feedback), or Appeals (regarding admin/moderator actions).

Discussion regarding these will be within nested threads under the post.

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founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Hello users of hexbear:

Due to recent meta posts in our mutual aid community we wanted to open up discussion about the community [email protected]

We will never require explanation or justification from a user asking for aid in the community, and the mod and admin team continue to commit to not featuring an individual's mutual aid request to prevent unfair exposure.

In addition, we will maintain a strict "No critical comments or meta comments" on a mutual aid post.

This post is to discuss the mutual aid community's rule of allowing meta posts: mutual aid as a community, those making posts in it and those commenting on posts.

We are considering removing the exception allowing meta posts but wanted to involve the userbase before committing to a change.

Please comment with any thoughts, feelings, or suggestions regarding this change.

Thank you

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Saying you need money for basic survival items, getting the money and then turning around and spending it on drugs is shitty, especially when it's surrounded by posts of other people also saying rhe need survival necessities.

You know what, I will chime in here too. I was facing homelessness and begged for cash on mutualaid and I watched as someone asked for money for a vehicle and received $4,000. Then they bought drugs with it.

$4,000 is 8 months rent for me. I went homeless.

I won't otherwise make value judgements on anyone involved, but I don't think you're shitty for calling it out.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I did not blow it all on drugs. Hell, I spent at least a quarter of that, in other words a whole entire rack, on other people in need. In other words, giving it away to my homeless friends. I sent one friend alone $400. I sent $200 to another.

I’m not saying I didn’t buy drugs with it. But it was not even a quarter of that $4K.

You know what I did blow it on? DoorDash. I spent maybe $1,000 on DoorDash.

I’m ashamed of how I squandered that money either way and I’ve learned from my mistakes but I know nobody fucking cares so why the fuck should I bother.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well, I'm sorry if I misrepresented the situation. It just really sucked to watch play out. I'm glad to hear you learned something from it and I hope you're getting by okay.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I was totally expecting you to double down and insist that I’m lying, etc., because that’s what I’ve come to expect in arguments like this one. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yea i normally wouldn't have said anything if that exact person wasn't the one complaining about other people dping that now.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That is disturbing to read, I'm sorry you went through that and I hope you're at least okay now.

I feel like there could be more emphasis on a hierarchy of needs in this comm but idk how to implement that without opening the cans of worms that come from basically means testing. That would go against the purpose of the comm. But maybe at least some feedback system that allows people who want to donate to understand whose requests are being ignored or whose requests still need to be fulfilled.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I think from the perspective of competing needs the more likely issue is that some people get more because they are more popular / appealing than others which is another form of market logic of its own. I think that's a fair criticism, but it's still a criticism of those who choose the allocation of resources rather than a criticism of those who need them.

My point is that being the arbiter of competing needs on a person to person basis is morally fraught (and typically on some level dishonest) which is why real mutual aid is a communal and social function rather than a peer-to-peer market function. Also that enforcing a system of account on those who are in need is just opening up a can of worms for petty sectarian moralizing that is going to wind up with harming more people than preventing scenarios like this.

There's also just a lot of unverified, unknowable information to make a call here, and digging thru the post and user histories that started this thread it's incredibly difficult to tell what the truth of the obvious off board drama between the involved users is.

FWIW you shouldn't have gone homeless, that's a failing of society on multiple levels that should be eradicated.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (3 children)

. I was facing homelessness and begged for cash on mutualaid and I watched as someone asked for money for a vehicle and received $4,000. Then they bought drugs with it.

what the fuck. $4,000? WHAT THE FUCK THAT COULDVE DONE SO MUCH GOOD.

Please tell me that at least that user was banned

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Still a regular in mutual aid

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's more is we aren't even allowed to talk about it but that user can be defensive out of nowhere and call names.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Plenty of people talking about this here, how about take your shit snide comments elsewhere?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Up your asshole because none of this shit is your business to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Oooohhhhhhh ok. I'm gonna block you now

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm so hurt! How about you go reflect on your own shit

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just answering the question. I don't think they should be penalized for having needs.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Okay, sorry for telling you to fuck off, I thought you were with the others trying to keep these old things going, that really need to be let go and to stop being reactionary.