this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Lemmy needs AI. [SATIRE] (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Lemmy needs AI features integrated, this would help increase the efficiency of poster and commenter workflows, allowing for maximal upvotes per minute, and as a consequence it increases engagement across all communities. The direct increase in output of posters when they enhance their workflow with LLMs is staggering, and comments per minute for each post go through the roof. This allows for discussions to be longer, and LLMs can be deployed on the site in such a way as to write comments that leave the reader desperate to see what the next reply is, even further boosting how many hours people spend on each post.

Lemmy not integrating AI workflows is denying a choice that everyone should be making, AI will replace posters that don’t keep up, so learning AI workflows is now essential for posters and commenters. AI will be completely different tomorrow, the workflows are going to be completely different in a months time, and it will produce even MORE text, and even MORE images. You hear me, you should learn AI right now, otherwise the posters and commenters who use AI will overtake you in terms of upvotes, and then, well you all know how important upvotes are.

I propose that accounts have a mode that can be turned on to auto generate posts overnight, and on top of that AI should try to autocomplete every sentence people type into the editor. This will maximise the benefits to Lemmys written communities. I also propose having an AI art generator built into each post, so every post can have an image, further maximising engagement. Moderators can benefit from the shift in paradigm that AI have brought about, with AI being able to create and moderate communities that no one has even asked for! Lemmy should not only allow but encourage the adoption of these tools, and everyone should be jumping on this revolution like there is no tomorrow.

I also think that the developers should integrate AI into their workflow, it could automatically add features that people don’t even know they want. I am SHOCKED that the developers are still creating Lemmy at this point, as AI can already do 110% of their job, the other day ChatGPT wrote me a sorting algorithm that it told me was totally new, and that it was able to sort any list instantly regardless of size.

My stock portfolio has nearly doubled since I went all in on AI stocks, and I expect it to double in coming months, this tells you just how amazing AI is. Since all the companies are valued this highly despite having quite a small consumer base.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

To be clear, this post is satire. If that wasn't obvious already.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah, maybe add "[Satire]" to the title because it reads too much like every other AI-bro press release lol.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

I tried to hit that line when I was writing it, clearly I've missed the mark and made it a little too real

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Bro cooked too hard, he sounded more convincing than most AI advocates...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

the world simply isn't ready for your revolutionary ideas 😔

[–] [email protected] 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I would actually say OP should remove the [satire] tag. Good satire is when it's difficult to figure out whether you are making fun of the topic or agreeing with it.

Adding a [satire] kills the whole comedy vibe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

In general I disagree, often you can't read it it's satire, trolling or someone being serious, there are weird people and also bots on the internet.

However this piece was pretty clear satire, if you read far enough (probably I would have stopped in the middle and downvoted this crap if it was not marked).

The "ChatGPT showed me a new sorting algorithm" part really does make it pretty obvious to anyone with dev background that this is not serious.