ADHD

Context:

For the last month I’ve been on an absolute tech binge on reading up and tinkering with hacking ps vitas and other general computer faffing about.

This has lead me to not only purchasing not one, but two ps vitas in the last month, and spending basically every waking hour reading documentation, looking up new homebrews and plugins, and actually working on getting these things implemented.

Additionally, carrying around a tiny baby console has reignited but also a impulse purchasing a new handheld gaming pc. Now I already have a fairly decent one, an aya neo 2021, so 16gb ram, a 4800u processor, 1tb storage, etc. This baby’s literally been able to handle everything I’ve thrown at it, with the exception of Baldur’s Gate.

But now I’m really getting bothered by how heavy and big it is. So what do I do? I buy a GPD Win 4 on an impulse because it’s only a little bit larger than the vita, but has many many many pluses compared to my current pc (32gb ram, a 34% faster processor, 2tb storage, an on unit keyboard, a mini mouse trackpad, rear buttons (honestly one of the main things I miss about the xbox pro controller), etc). I’m still going to use the aya, I’ll set it up as a pseudo desktop of sorts probably, or use it when I do want that bigger screen.

But man I feel absolutely worn out from this. It’s been a ninth of just solid obsession and being unable to think about anything else. Not to mention the money I’ve spent that I really ought to be saving. And the worst part is I know there’s very little I can do to break out of it.

At least the comp I know im going to be using, the vita I think the fixation will die out once it’s all set up and configured... I think I enjoy the tinkering more than I will actually using it.

Does anyone else feel the same after a hyperfixation binge? It’s gotta be similar to stims making us tired right? Finally found something that releases the dopamine, and now it’s a tidal wave. Not to mention just the go go go go obsessive thinking 24/7. And it certainly doesn’t help that being so focused on this instead of literally everything else means I’ve missed my meds more times in the last few weeks than I have actually remembering them. Gotta love a self fulfilling prophesy eh?

Anyway, anyone else have a similar hyperfixation story they feel like sharing?

And I fully accept this is far too much to read lmao