I didn't go to the ceremony. The only reason I even got the associate degree is because I'm transferring universities for my BS in the fall, and the new one wanted me to retake some Gen Ed classes (they can't if I already hold the degree).
But, my lab partner texted me during the ceremony and now I really don't know what to do with myself.
I don't understand how I managed to keep my 4.0 with all the problems I've had over the last year or so. I was hospitalized last year for my mental disorders. This year I've lost my ability to walk and I still don't know why, despite 30+ appointments between January and now.
I feel like I should celebrate somehow, because there was a lot of sweat and tears involved in getting my school work done to a level I was satisfied with. But I have no one to celebrate with. And I don't even know what I want to do for fun anymore lol
Thank you :)
You are right, I can't see the person I am beyond my struggles. I think I feel like I am not deserving of success or achievement, let alone pride.
I think that's your conscious thinking, but some deeper part of you knows that this is a good thing and feels good about yourself. I know there are those other thoughts that contradict that and tell you you're not deserving, but try to let those good thoughts have their say as well. They might just be on to something :)
And if you ever need some cheering on, feel free to post over in [email protected] - though fair warning, we'll probably side with the you're-great-and-it's-okay-to-feel-proud-about-it opinion.