The Onion

DON’T GIVE THOSE MORANS ANY IDEAS, YOU FOOLS!!!1!

I mean, I’m a hard atheist that would gladly classify religion as child abuse, thereby preventing any exposure until a person has become an adult. That alone would dramatically restrict religion to the mentally ill within only a generation or two.

But judging from Francis’ track record, there is still hope for the Catholic Church to still do some material good, if they elect the right pontiff.