this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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What are some small low energy things you do to make you feel connected to the world and a bit of joy? I need some little sparks this week to claw back from this burnout.
wall of text for my own benefit while I figure out my feelings. Mental health warning
I have had a really flat day. The constant work and stress lately is really taking its toll. I am losing whole days to just sleeping (when I do stop). I am struggling with basics like putting clothes away and eating regularly and well. When I drink I over drink because I am too tired and I am desperate for connection and joy. But all that fuels a vicious cycle where today I slept on the floor in the sun instead of going outside, or cooking food for the week.
I feel like, with my mental health and even external stuff like the election that it's all just one big stressful climb and all that's happening is I am not falling further. I feel so far away from a functional adult right now.
I am ranting this because I am resisting making dinner because that will just mess up the kitchen again. I feel down and nauseous and need to wash my hair desperately.
I will persist. I have lived with depression forever and I know I will get through. The really black thoughts from this morning have eased at least. I just want to feel like I am not white knuckling my way through life.
Look at the moon