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My friend keeps defending my dad, what should I do? (thelemmy.club)

submitted 20 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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My dad literally hits me and punishes me by starving me. However, my friend says he’s “just trying to shape me into the perfect young man” and that he “truly loves me”. This almost makes me think she’s either my dad in secret or dating my dad.

In all seriousness, what do I do? Stop talking to her? Talk to her? Be her friend despite it?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 19 hours ago

I'd be concerned that she's been conditioned to believe such things in her home life as normal. No joke, congrats to you for recognizing the abuse you're going through. It's tough to spot and name it, let alone talk about it to others. Great first steps on your part. For your friend, it sounds like she's going through or has gone through something.

I'd suggest talking with a trusted adult, any trusted adult about this. They're going to give you better perspective and, more importantly, assistance with your situation, which is absolutely not ok.

For your friend, I can think of 2 responses:

Ask her if she's been abused and conditioned to think that abuse is ok. Tell her that abuse isn't ok, and that if she's been abused, she needs to talk to someone about that, like a trusted authority figure.
If this is a "debate me, bro" situation, there are endless resources that prove that victims of abuse are, indeed, victims. In other words, abuse doesn't strengthen anyone in the relationship; it weakens the victim through abuse and trauma. You can find all sorts of studies on any angle you'd like to pursue.