this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, is it really fair to say my client hit him, when the brick is essentially 100% empty space? And isn't he also essentially 100% empty space so can he even be hit?
But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a wookie from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about that; that does not make sense! Why would a wookie, an 8 foot tall wookie, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two foot tall ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more importantly, you have to ask yourself, ‘what does that have to do with this case?’ Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case. It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.