I kinda love how this only works if you know the correct pronunciation. For those that don't, it's ock-top-uh-deez

Linguists are probably the least likely people to get upset at someone using the "wrong" word. they might pull out their notebook and start asking you questions though

octopiussi

I feel like any linguist upset by non-prescriptive language needs to maybe reconsider their life choices. Imagine telling someone they're painting incorrectly or being mad at the discovery of a new species.

Octopi, octopuses, and octopods are all valid pluralizations of octopus in American English.

Conversely, cacti is the only valid pluralization of cactus.

Don’t worry, language itself pissed us off long before you did.

Dont you dare use a Latin pluralization of a Greek root word!

To be pedantic, octopi comes from the misconception that octopus is a second-declension noun in Latin when it's actually a third-declension noun. If you were writing Latin, you'd still want octopodes

at this point i feel the only sensible answer is to use the most nonsensical form that still sounds normal

Octothingies is my favorite

Only Japanese ones