this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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First, please be respectful in the comments. I have no idea what the topic was, but apparently it caused a lot of divide. I prefer just the claims and facts, backed by citations, and let me draw my own conclusions. I can think for myself. πŸ˜…

I'm curious because it seemed to have happened about a year ago, and then there were concerns of Lemmy being a worse place for women than Reddit.

I don't really see that now. Granted, I'm new, and maybe it's the specific communities I subscribed to, but I haven't really seen much women-hating in posts or comments. If anything, I've seen a bias towards liberal viewpoints (many of which I personally agree with, but sometimes the justifications use poor reasoning and almost comes off as a bad defense or covert sabotage).

I'm hoping Lemmy changed for the better in the past year, and I'm not about to be side slammed with some misogyny. πŸ™πŸΌ

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

A viewpoint from someone who would choose the bear:: I don't think all men are by default violent sexual predators. It's much more about the fear that we won't be believed.

Nobody questions whether you wanted to be attacked by a bear. Nobody makes the case that the bear just made a mistake and we don't want to ruin his future. Nobody suggests that you lead the bear on then changed your mind. It behooves us to be wary of being vulnerable with men until we have more information about the specific man we're engaging with because of things go sideways there's a good chance we'll be blamed.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Anyone who says bear literally doesn't know what a bear is and lives in some concrete jungle

A common thing I've heard is "well the worst thing a bear can do is kill me". Are we actually this stupid? Do these people actually believe what they say or is it just shock value?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Anyone so convinced of this has never been raped.

I have in fact encountered a bear in the wild, a mama bear with her cub. They weren't interested in me, just crossing my path trying to get to the river. I stopped walking and started talking so they'd know I was there. They went on their way, I waited a little bit to make sure they weren't coming back, and then I went on mine.

I've also been raped by a man I thought was my friend.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

A viewpoint from someone who is a man and not a sexual predator:: this statement is so incendiary because the odds of being mauled to death by a bear you meet are so high, while the odds of being sexually assaulted by a man you meet are so low.

As someone who doesn't live somewhere that has bears I don't really know how it works, at first glance the phrase "come across a bear" implies a certainty of a revenant style bear fight, but I suppose if you know something about bear behavior can identify the type of bear maybe it's not a big deal?

Alternatively, how many encounters between lone women and lone men in the woods result in sexual assault? There's some places in my area where people walk daily. There would be dozens of such encounters, and IDK the "sexual assault rate" but it would be a big deal if someone had been raped in the woods. Notwithstanding unreported assaults, I don't think it's something that's happened? I'm guessing but I wouldn't be surprised if the rate is less than 1 encounter in a million.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

As someone who spends nearly every weekend in the backcountry of vancouver island, most bears aren't going to mess with you. But I've also been charged by a bear before like 10 years ago and I still sometimes have nightmares about it. When they are having a hard time finding easy food you bet they will spend the energy to eat you.

Every single person I've ever come across outdoors has been good. I mean one time someone stole booze from my cooler while I was asleep one time. But that's the worst that's ever happened. But I guess I am a man so I can fight back.

It's really just a rage bait question because it lacks any detail. I think it would be a better question to ask would you rather be in an empty room with a random bear or with a random man.

Like, are we talking about solo hiking and encountering people on the trail? People you find in the woods are chill. Or are we talking about a random man from anywhere in the world spawning in?

It just pisses me off actually because it actually changed the way I act around solo lady hikers because now I just think I'm viewed as some creep. I don't small talk anymore I just say hi and make it clear I don't want to associate. My last solo trip to a remote beach had another solo lady camping there and I kept wondering if she was scared I was there even though I was like 200m down the beach. In the past I might have went to the bear food cache when she did and just say hello, ask if they forgot any gear they might need to borrow, etc etc, maybe make a new friend. Ask if they saw any bears on the way down, you know, lol.

Almost every woman I personally know who answered this question said they would rather come across a bear and that really sucks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago

Sadly, the reverse has come to be true for a lot of men.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

The person you’re responding to entirely missed the point and the accusation of misandry is misguided