AuDHD

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A place for those that got both Autism and ADHD, those confirmed as one and are suspecting they got the other as well, and also everyone who is neither and just genuinely curious.

Since the combo comes with its own set of challenges, this shall be a place to ask for advice, vent, infodump about special interests and/or just vibe and meme.

Please be respectful. General niceness guidelines apply - formal rules will be added later if necessary.

In regards to medication and medical advice: Please take under consideration that this is only an online support community. Offered advice is always an expression of individual opinions or experiences and shall never be taken as substitute for a professional in-person assessment!

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How do you do it? (programming.dev)

submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

How not just give up? There is nothing left, no viable career options, hobbies are pointless because there's just no improvement past certain point anyway, no alleviation to the fucking constant hurt that's AuDHD. And nobody gets it, nobody.

Any insight, other than "seek help", would be welcome right about now.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago (2 children)

hobbies are pointless because there’s just no improvement past certain point anyway

This is false for two reasons. One, "hobbies" aren't just for improvement. They're for fun, to express yourself and make something you find valuable. And two, there is improvement if you tackle increasing challenges.

I guess I'm lucky because I'm obsessed with my personal projects. They give my life structure. I'm not getting any interviews, not making any money, but I'm motivated every day by the ambitious projects I work on.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago

They’re for fun, to express yourself and make something you find valuable

That would be optimal, sure. The reality is, I'll have good run learning something new, and at a certain level, just become so frustrated and burnt out, it'll lose it's appeal completely. Might return to it after years, only to repeat the cycle.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago (1 children)

When a Autistic person gets burn out is it common for hobbies to start to seem useless.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

When a ~~Autistic~~ person gets burn out is it common for hobbies to start to seem useless.

It's not even really unique to Autistic people. Anyone who's burnt out/depressed will feel that way.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Right, just turned up to 11.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago

It’s not just run of the mill anhedonia. It’s a removal of an entire support structure.

You nailed it. Now, with half a life-time of trauma, masking and dead-end jobs, it seems there's no getting those interests back.

if we try to talk about it people will re-orient what we say into their own framework and start making false equivalencies. “Just do X.” It can be a good-natured attempt to understand, or a dismissive invalidation. Either way it gets exhausting.

This right here. So tired of trying to talk to anyone not on the spectrum about it anymore.

If it wasn’t for my spouse I doubt I’d be here. I don’t fit. 40+ years of trying to be a square peg, scrambling to fill in all the corners on demand, has me drained. Nothing I do has ever been enough. I’m tired.

Yeah, hanging on not to dissappoint loved ones, is how I'd put it. Feels all kinds of wrong.

I wish you the best. Truly.

Thanks, to you too.