this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2024
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How did I end up on NCD again?
Tactical ballistic pizza? Count me in. Sounds reckless and delicious.
Like the guy that cooked a chicken by slapping it repeatedly, somebody needs to see what speeds firing a ball of dough against a wall will get it crispy brown.
Communications personnel receive order ... they quickly process it to the gun crew
Gun crew load first round: .... 15TH FLOOR!!!! APARTMENT 1567!!!! KITCHEN WINDOW SECOND TO RIGHT!!!!!! ....... FIRE!!!!!!!
Gun recoils ... crew prepare second round: ...... SAUCE!!!! ... PEPPERONI!!! HAM!!! PEPPERS!!!!! ANCHOVIES!!!! .... CHEESE!!! EXTRA CHEESE!!!!! .... (prepared round is loaded into gun) ..... FIRE!!!!!
Gun recoils ... crew load HESH round: ...... COMPLETE THE ORDER!!!!! ..... FIRE!!!!!!!!
Gun crew grows silent for a moment .... there is a distant explosion of an apartment completely blow out on the 15th floor.
Sure, they blew a hole in the building, but the pizza was perfectly cooked, so mission accomplished.
Charred remains of an apartment, body parts and bone fragments all over the place, broken glass, shattered furniture, lots of smoke and some fire, water works spraying water everywhere .... and in the midst of the carnage is a perfectly cooked pizza sitting on the floor.