Melbourne

Has… he seen the job market? A very hurtful and clueless thing for him to say. Very boomer.

And yes mental health struggles make life a lot harder. Not everyone can be a machine. Those expectations are pretty high, I’d even say unrealistic, and I think your sister might even secretly be feeling the high pressure job. If not now then at some point. If anything else happens to add a strain to life that pace might not be sustainable.

Comparing you to a sibling is also not appropriate to do.

Edit: In a small way I was the tough disciplined organised one that others got compared to… because I was so desperately holding it together under pressure. Burned out hard. They’re doing well now and me not so much.

Comparison hurts both sides

Let me add to the pile of outrage at your dad for saying such a horribly hurtful and useless comment.

I want to write a whole essay to you because I have a similar family dynamic (very accomplished eldest bro who seems to be doing fine with a very fast paced life) - and I certainly didn't get taken seriously for much of my early adulthood

I should go pack though. But all I can say is... it does get better, with age and experience their opinions matter less, and life becomes more about keeping yourself afoat the way that works best for you.

For comparison, said wildly successful older bro had massive setback later in life that's been going on for years now. And he is far worse equipped to handle it mentally and emotionally because his life has always been superlative and successful. He had never really experienced failure before. It's a huge learning curve later on in life. So take that for what it's worth..

As a parent sometimes we say things out of frustration. It doesn't make it right though. Big hugs for you because you are going forward and that's the main thing. 💛

That's so shit and so fucked up. I'm glad he apologised, but it's not fair that he did that in first place. Comparison is the thief of joy, you're doing YOU and that's all that matters. You are loved!

wtf, i wouldn't say that to a friend let alone a daughter

you know you're right , you know they were wrong

but it hurts so bad, hurts because why would they even say that, they are supposed to be kind and supportive, and you know they know how to be supportive because they are to other people

so many many hugs

I know it hurts, I know that having the kindness and support of those we love makes us feel like we can conquer the world but there are times we need to be our own best friend

you have us as your friend and you have yourself, you're a really good friend

me, my family of origin want me to be loser, they would get angry when I has success of any kind, I lost them instead

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I know it's difficult to dismiss a parents opinion, but I would highly recommend it in this case.

It sounds like he has no understanding of the way the world works at the moment. I hear this a lot from people. That their parents are completely disconnected from the realities of life these days.

You're not a loser and I hope you know that ❤️

Yesterday my dad called me a loser because I am underemployed right now. what a prick. You didnt need to say or justify anything beyond that. Hes a prick. Nothing more to say and nothing else matters beyond that. You dont speak to your kids like that. EVER. Even if you aint a kid any more.

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry but a parent should not be calling their child that.

That's just not right!

People go through different journeys through life to get to where they want, there's no playbook by any means.