this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024
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My 4 year old's memory ability is all over the place. One day forgets mid sentence what he was talking about about or can't remember if he is wearing pants, then later says, "remember 3 months ago when you promised me a Popsicle" or repeats verbatim the theme song for some random show.
Or his dad forgetting which words in his own sentence he already typed.....
Also, you can't just be forgetting to give the kid a popcycle! Do you even KNOW what being 5 years old is like? Those popcycles are the very foundation of life!!! It's super serious business!!! It's a life or death situation!!!!
.......and by that, I mean if you give a kid GRAPE as the popcycle, he's legally allowed to slit your throat in your sleep while no jury would convict him. Why do they even MAKE grape??? The world would be a better place if all the grape flavor were replaced with the red ones. What flavor even is red? I don't know. It's gone before you get a chance to ask.
It's wild. Someone asked my almost 4 year old where he got a monster truck from. We got it 8 months ago but he remembered exactly where. He remembered that someone broke his plane at daycare over a year ago randomly. But I ask him what he did at school and he says "nothing."
To be fair, he might be telling the truth. My dad used to ask me everyday, "what did you learn in school today?" "Nothing." "You MUST have learned SOMETHING!" "........mmmmmm, nope."
And it's true. I used to twirl my pencil and imagine what would happen if the soviet union got invaded with nuclear bomb eating dinosaurs. This was back when we had atomic bomb drills, and the 1980s were full of nuclear war concerns. But what if we could TEACH the dinosaurs to eat the bombs, and invade the soviet union???
And then I remember watching the Berlin wall come crumbling down live on CNN. Remember how I said I didn't learn anything in school? Well, while watching the fall of the Berlin Wall as it happened, live on CNN, I thought it was some ghetto in Milwuakkee. I was like "Damn. Look at all that graffiti. It's not even spelled right! It's like a totally different language!!! Must be Milwuakkee. That's where all the beer is."
So yeah. Ask your kid what he thinks about atomic bomb dinosaurs, and what he thinks happens in Milwuakkee......or maybe your kid ISN'T exactly like me. Still though. Just to be safe, you should probably introduce him to Super Mario Bros, and bet him that he can't save the princess. He's going to love that game!
Just buy him the bloody Popsicle.