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As someone who never quite reached this level myself, I feel like it's when you start being able to think in the second language inside your head.
I only got to the point where I had flashes of this happen for specific topics that didn't translate well. For everything else I kept thinking in English, even if I then needed to convert it back mentally after.
My thoughts aren't in a language, so this always confused me as a benchmark.
Idk, I'm bilingual and I only ever think in English. It doesn't really seem to make a difference though, saying things out loud vs in my head.
I'm learning a third language now and can just barely communicate with others (worked with a taxi driver!). That said, I wouldn't consider myself truly trilingual yet. I could think in that language but it doesn't really feel like it changes anything - I still only know the same words in my head
In the same vein as your response, I’ve heard people say that they start dreaming in the other language, too, and understanding it. Being a monolinguist myself, I can’t speak with any authority, but my understanding is when you stop thinking about what you say and you’re just saying it, combined with the dreaming in it, is a good identifier.
People who say that they speak whatever random number of languages but it’s only memorized sayings…? Yeah, that’s not* the same thing, you guys.
Edit: I’m married to a Puerto Rican who works in interpretation and translation, just for my credentials here. In one of our last minor tiffs she did mention something about me not learning Spanish and how she felt some kind of way about it… but, hey. Languages are difficult, and there are plenty of relationships where a partner didn’t learn the language and it’s not a big deal. I’m busy and stressed out with work.
I’m married to a Mexican but I enjoyed learning Spanish in school (in the Midwest); later in life after moving to Los Angeles I started using Spanish quite a bit.
If I can nudge you to try learning it, you might end up enjoying it. I’m crazy busy with work too but I’ve started learning Mandarin online with a tutor and after a bit of a learning curve, it’s deeply satisfying when things start to click.