No Stupid Questions
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Childish? Kinda. Insane? No.
There are three relevant things to say about hexbear.
1. It is not a serious instance. Or at least not completely serious; they're mostly there for memes, funposting, "I know that feel" etc.
So they're less like the meeting room of a communist party than like the bar where those communists hang out and drink beer, after the meeting is over.
I feel like this is often misinterpreted, as HB users say something that is mostly a taunt and others interpret as actual argumentation. And it also tends to attract younger users, who... well, behave like young people?
2. Even if not a serious instance, they're serious about their views. Your typical HB user is communist, antifa, vegan, anti-cop, and interprets things in a very specific way. They're rather transparent about it.
And, because of #1, they aren't really willing to spend their time entertaining anyone's counterpoints. It'll be interpreted as sealioning or similar.
3. Hexbear was already its own thing before federation. As such it developed social norms that often conflict with the norms typically found in the rest of the Threadiverse (Lemmy, Mbin, Piefed etc.)
For example, even if Lemmy as a whole is prone to intrusive political discussions, HB users tend to do it far more. Because they're used to an environment where this is typically taken as OK.
When it comes to dealing with HB users here, my advice is the exact same as dealing with other users:
This is the most reasonable response.
A lot of people here have long since made up their mind about hexbear based both on repeated meta posting on the topic and possibly a bad experience or two with them on a topic they assumed was uncontested but is a landmine topic for communists of a particular bent
I've personally never had a bad experience with hexbears, possibly because I'm more empathetic to their perspective, but more likely because I know when it's time to disengage. There are users on lemmy who feel strongly about a certain topic that's abrasive to hexbear users and dig in their heels when jeered at (or maybe feel a personal responsibility to stand them down) and are usually the users here who have the most complaints, because the standard reaction from hexbear users is irreverence (both the users and the mods).
Unlike a lot of liberals coming from reddit, communists often don't have delusions about the neutrality of moderation and so they'll ban you on a whim if they think you're there to stir shit. They use the ban hammer judiciously even with users on their own instance. That's often the biggest complaint both with hexbear and with lemmy.ml.
To be fair I've had a few bad experiences with Hexbears, but I think that most of them boil down to "unfunny guy interacting with unserious kids". But since I'm often lurking there in my political account, I feel like my opinion about them is a bit less ungrounded than this whole "Hexbear bad! EDIT WOW THANKS FOR THE GOLD KIND STRANGER!" echo chamber.
(I also have a few bones to pick with .ml [the people in charge, not the whole instance], but they don't apply to LG or HB, it's a matter of transparency.)
Browsing their coms can be a pretty unique experience, especially if you go in with a preformed idea of what their communities are like. There's a huge spread of interests and experiences, and sometimes you can be browsing a niche community and forget that these were the people posting BPB on lemmy.world threads a year ago.
Knowing the academic writings and history they're referencing helps a lot with understanding where they are coming from, even if you may not agree with all of it.