this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 week ago (2 children)

[12] And on the third day, Ted rose from the ashes.

[13] And there was a great consternation and much amazement among the humans as Ted did walk among them, proclaiming with meows and with postures:

[14] "Where is my food, Cecil and Emily? For until a cat has decided to leave, they should still be considered among you."

The Book of Ted, Chapter 9 Verses 12-14.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Now please turn to song 146 in your hymnals, The Cat Cameth Back.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago