this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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I don't believe I've ever spoken about this online before, but I was in a similar situation and was in solo therapy attempting to process the trauma and my therapist legitimately told me that the reason it's still traumatic is because I was unwilling to forgive the perpetrators. I knew they were religious before this, but I thought it had never really affected the sessions, until I realized the sessions hadn't been helpful because he viewed me as the issue. My unwillingness to forgive. I tried to get a better understanding of what that meant and it was just circular. I found a new therapist shortly thereafter, but the interaction really made clear how bad some therapists are. I had a string of not helpful therapists and I just kinda gave up, but I hope people know they don't have to put up with that. There are better options.
Decades of therapy, moving across the country, and having one retire means I've had three great therapists. And an equal number of shit therapists that I had to audition before finding the great ones.