this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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me_irl
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People like this are getting harder to find. I remember when this was the default attitude of most men.
Good riddance to that toxic trait. There's nothing commendable or "strong" about refusing to ask for help that you genuinely need.
Depends on the mindset. When I’m in a depressive episode I am that way, but it’s because I’m always worried that I will bring people down and alienate them if I share my problems. It’s never ever about strength or stoicism, it’s purely fear of making things worse. I’m not saying it’s healthy, it’s a terrible trait to have and I never wanted to be that way, but it’s not always like you’re making it out to be.
A trait doesn't have to be deliberate or involve I'll intent towards others to be toxic.
Not asking for help that you need out of worry that you'll bring people down is one of the many ways in which depression lies.
Please take good care of yourself when you can and let others do it when you can't. And don't beat yourself up too much when you fail at either or both. That's what depression wants you to do. Never forget that depression has horrible ideas and depression lies.
I don’t disagree that it’s toxic, but rather the whole “gotta be a big tough guy” attitude that you said it comes from—and a follow-up comment alluded to toxic masculinity, which in the case I was making it absolutely is not.
In any event, we can agree that it all boils down to distorted, irrational thinking, and do agree that it is entirely unhealthy.