this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
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Murdered by Words
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It IS a gendered issue.
Men ARE taught from an early age don't hit girls. Boys and men who do are social outcasts for it. In a public setting men and women will step in to defend the woman.
None of the above is true about a woman attacking a man. In a public setting you'll see indifference or even coming to the woman's aid in attacking the man. In media slapping men is just seen as acceptable. There is zero social stigma against women being violent towards men. The assumption is always that he must deserve it.
Less than a stigma, it's a punchline.
And "deserve it" even when it's used for a punchline is "man dumb so deserve violence," not using violence in self defense.
Exactly, and that's why more men than women die at the hands of their partners. (/s, if it's not obvious)
Of course it's unacceptable for women to hurt men, but please, let's not reverse the problem.
Both sexes participate in intimate partner violence at rates close-ish to parity (it's something like a 60/40 split). Interestingly, despite the social narrative that IPV is all men's fault, gay male relationships have less of it than straight ones, and lesbian relationships have more.
Studies and statistics based on arrests, convictions, or other interactions with law enforcement are really bad at identifying female perpetrated IPV because often law enforcement ignores IPV perpetrated by a woman. It's fallout from training built on the Duluth model that's been around forever. When you build policy and training around something and that something is shown not to be accurate the training and policy doesn't just go away.
And yet......women are still more likely to be victims of domestic violence.
Obviously societal mores are not an effective deterrent, otherwise we 1/3 women wouldn't be victims of domestic violence .
I'm not claiming that men do not experience domestic violence, or trying to claim it's not important to educate people the rate of violence men experience. I'm just saying that claiming more women are okay with committing domestic violence than men is just statistically incorrect.
I think most people are taught at an early age not to hit people regardless of gender. Judging by the amount of down votes my response has, it seems plenty of people would be willing to ostracize a women who batter their partners.
Lol, then why are you upset? Are you not part of society? Societal views on domestic violence have changed pretty significantly in the last 30 years. I don't think anyone is really cool standing by and letting anyone beat their spouse in public.
I think you are relying pretty heavily on anecdotal assumptions about social constructs instead of the actual evidence we have available that proves women are more likely to be victims of domestic abuse than men.
It's now a very old clip, but this really shows how society handles this kind of thing:
https://youtu.be/u3PgH86OyEM
Has much changed in the last 10 years?
Look at the people around, do any of them look like they approve this?
Just because no one wants to risk getting involved with a psycho, when statistically the abused will side with the abuser in such a situation against you, does not mean society accepts it.
I mean, when the woman was the victim, they got together and helped her deal with it. When the man was the victim, they either ignored it or in a few cases were caught by the camera smiling at what was happening.
If you've ever been the victim of bullying you should already know that bystanders, by not stopping the perpetrators, implicitly validate it. That's how the perpetrators continue.
If you have not been a victim of public harrassment, kindly, stfu.
Don’t you dare demand the public step in to risk their life when you won’t even leave a relationship.
Ooh spicy take
I'm not demanding anything, I'm countering your point that silent disapproval means that it's shunned upon. It's not. I'm not blaming anyone for not stepping in, I've also not stepped in several times, but be aware that that's enabling.
"Society is against this kind of behaviour" no it isn't, it fucking isn't. Sometimes individuals have good reasons, whatever, but the conclusion is that abusers feel enabled. And I'm not even touching the disparity between genders in these situations.
My past made that difficult to watch even though I knew they were actors. Jesus… Fuck everyone in that crowd who laughed.