this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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my favorite feature is that it's a smart device—you connect it with your phone via proprietary app and it tells you the temperature of your counter top. Also for a low monthly subscription fee it will also recite the screen play of a random episode of friends in 4 languages simultaneously, none of which are English, Spanish, Arabic, or Mandarin.
Being able to report the temperature is way too useful for a useless steel block. I’d pay $10/month for a block that truly does nothing.
Personally, I'm a fan of the rumble notification feature. Pair it with your phone and it'll rumble in response to a random notification on your phone at least once a day. Best part is: it kinda shakes the whole house and will sometimes shuffle itself into the floor so you can't ignore it! Yeah, I've had to replace some tile, but it's totally worth it.
Nikola Tesla’s oscillator earthquake claim
Obviously the languages are Estonian, Finnish, Latvian and Lithuanian.
Except for the Finnish + Baltic region, where the languages are actually Tagalog, Swahili, Navajo and the most popular option, x86 assembly for outputting the text of the episode in Haitian Creole. The latter is the most popular because of how insanely fast they have to speak.
Oh, I know this one, Estonia is that country next to Italy, right?
I just know that their military has the best MREs.
Please tell me it scrobbles...
Man I really hope that app requires an active internet connection and a registered account. And it would be real nice if the app wasn't optimized at all and support would end after 3 updates.
'Bro, my steel cube is now just a useless brick'
If you dont pay the subsciption it immediately gets rusty
Look, just because Elon Musk can't choose an alloy properly doesn't mean nobody can do it. Hell, even DeLorean managed it, and he was dealing with both cocaine and the Troubles at the same time!
I love the live location feature, so that I never lose track of my kitchen cube. You can see where it is and how it's doing even from remote. Always have an eye on my cube when at work.
Love the proprietary app! I spent several months cobbling together a bunch of Docker containers that each apply a bundle of hacks I built through reverse engineering! Now I can control it via Home Assistant but I hope some guy that built one of the Docker images doesn’t disappear in six months when the manufacturer completely wrecks all our work with an API update!
You could try the redneck thing. That's where you gut all the circuitry, make it so there's exposed wires everywhere and every time you want to use it, touch whichever wires together. If you get it wrong it catches on fire but at least there's no longer a username and password.