this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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It is hard to imagine that there was not someone inside of Nike that lost their faith in humanity when the pitch for these things was originally taking off.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Back in our Business 101 class in university, we were supposed to come up with a new business idea and pitch it. We came up with a self-tying tie. Guess we weren't too far off lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Make it a subscription, say it has AI and you can start buying yachts

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Add bonus features already installed on the shoe, but need an extra subscription. Maybe clips to connect them to your bike pedals, but it costs 4.99€/month to actually use that feature. Think about all the feature subscription you could sell for a good hiking shoe.

(I really hope they won't do this, but I can see them trying it.)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (6 children)

The liability for a product that tightens around a neck would make it an untouchable concept for businesses. I could imagine a dystopian future where some big brand like Dickies selling it and when it kills people they claim the fine print very clearly disallows any shirts except for patented self-tying tie constrained collar shirts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Not a complicated engineering problem to solve though. A weak enough stepper motor wont be able to strangle anything even if its controlling software is hacked and turned to 11.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago

For sure, but a large many modern problems which result in fatalities daily are not hard engineering problems to solve.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I think the villain in Law Abiding Citizen killed somebody using a trap tie of some sort.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

it shouldnt be TOO hard to make it safe: just add a lanyard style breakaway at the back of the next. light tug pops the tie off.

You could make it simply self tighten, saving you one arm movement.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Haaaaaagh, that's fuckin excellent. Now Invision a dystopian future where hackers assassinate a corrupt politician by strangulation. Fuck yeah dystopian future.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Yea good thing we didn't follow through lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Or there might be a future leader who is a Darth Vader wannabe and creates a system where everyone wears a self-tightening tie and he can gesture at anyone who annoys him to choke them until he stops gesturing.