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I 100% agree with your post. The issues she raises are nonexistent or extremely rare. In my personal life I believe and practice "trans-women are women" as for all intents and purposes it's true.
I am however concerned that I don't really have a response to anyone who doesn't believe that, particularly women with some sort of past trauma that gives them an instinctual fear response. It feels insensitive to tell them to get over it or go to therapy. Particularly if they've been exposed to one of the extremely rare examples Rowling has presented. But I think going to therapy is probably what needs to happen.
My other conflicting thought is that therapy or condemnation it is what we would say to people being racist, but there seems to be a societal agreement that we need women only spaces. And we don't say "get over it" in regards to men trying to enter a women's shelter, we offer an amount of sympathy and understanding to the women and allow them that space. Which means there is some amount of gender discrimination is desired/needed. This also indicates there there should be a line or set of fuzzy criteria that determines if we treat trans-women as women or not. But this obviously also feels wrong, and I hate it.
Sorry if this was insensitive, I mostly just want to gather thoughts as I'm not confident in my thinking. I don't think these issues deserve the amount of attention transphobes are giving them, but we're here now, so I want to try and figure out a solution or response to more "reasonable" transphobes that I could potentially change the minds of
I appreciate this comment.
Surely the answer to traumatised women is to give them accommodations and special treatment, not to punish anyone who sets off that trauma response because of perceptions about that person's race or gender.