this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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Player: why do I feel that the entire universe is turning against me? All I wanted to do was kill literally everyone.
It's okay. They've all just had their minds warped by bourgeois propaganda.
I'm not going to beat them to death, just beat them until they have detached retinas, are deaf, and are crippled enough to be incapable of revenge.
I'm not a barbarian, just a human fighter.
My DM once gave me a cursed sword that required me to kill a humanoid daily.
It then devolved into side bars where we had to negotiate taking a kingdom's prisoners with us in the hold of a boat on our mission to save the queen or whatever. For murder sword food.
Still one of my favorite campaigns. I do think he regretted giving me an excuse to derail his campaign to go murder-hoboing, though.
I’ve never actually played. I hope to someday. The closest I’ve gotten is BG3 which isn’t saying a lot.
Check out startplaying.games. There is usually a cheap or free game going on if your time frame is flexible.
Yeah, that will set the bar too high for getting things done without an hour per campaign session making dumb jokes
Or discussing the scientific implications of magic. That happened way too often. I'm pretty sure that one specific DM will never give anyone an Everfull Stein ever again.