this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Player: why do I feel that the entire universe is turning against me? All I wanted to do was kill literally everyone.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

It's okay. They've all just had their minds warped by bourgeois propaganda.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'm not going to beat them to death, just beat them until they have detached retinas, are deaf, and are crippled enough to be incapable of revenge.

I'm not a barbarian, just a human fighter.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My DM once gave me a cursed sword that required me to kill a humanoid daily.

It then devolved into side bars where we had to negotiate taking a kingdom's prisoners with us in the hold of a boat on our mission to save the queen or whatever. For murder sword food.

Still one of my favorite campaigns. I do think he regretted giving me an excuse to derail his campaign to go murder-hoboing, though.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I’ve never actually played. I hope to someday. The closest I’ve gotten is BG3 which isn’t saying a lot.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Check out startplaying.games. There is usually a cheap or free game going on if your time frame is flexible.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, that will set the bar too high for getting things done without an hour per campaign session making dumb jokes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Or discussing the scientific implications of magic. That happened way too often. I'm pretty sure that one specific DM will never give anyone an Everfull Stein ever again.