this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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While I have never defaulted to wondering if friends hated me, I do overthink every vague response from someone. Not in a negative way, just all the possibilities and implications that there could be.
Asking for clarification from non-friends does frequently end in them being annoyed by me. No Susan, I don't know what you are implying by pointing out someone's is wearing a green shirt.
Missing social cues is adhd related. Not understanding implied social cues is more autism related. Many people with one have the other so it can be hard to separate them.
Social cues primarily require prior knowledge of the person and the context to have meaning. Stating that something is a color with no additional context as to why that color has a meaning is confusing.
"Thst shirt is blue!"
Ok. I wonder if it is just a bold color, a team color, doesn't go with some other color they are wearing, or something else. A neurotypiczl person would probably just assume their first assumpton is correct but answer with a vague "It sure is!" they can both go on with their day whether they are on the same page or not.
The reason that this is my example is after having a lot of technical discussions that require shared understanding of details, it is apparent that the vast majority of people just assume they are on the same page when they are not. But they communicate in vsgue ways that don't cause issues as long as nobody checks to see if they really are on the same page.
So someone who is allistic is likely going to have very little issue with the "shirt is blue" and moving on with their day. Just because someone is allistic doesn't mean they are neurotypical, the common implication otherwise is just a pet peeve of mine.
The fact that the vagueness of the statement bothers you this much suggests to me that you are talking about an autistic more than adhd trait but ymmv.
I find it hilarious that wanting to understand things is a trait used for diagnosis.
It's the level of importance, thought, and time you dedicate to it when there is no tangible benefit.
I'm fairly sure most people don't assume they know why someone said it's blue, they just don't care.
People say things to make conversation. It often fails to make sense, but you can just roll with it instead of autopsy-ing the conversation.