this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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Do you think you'd be smart enough to do those jobs well if I could give you a magic pill that took away the autism?
Is it even a meaningful question to ask if you can unpick the autistic traits from the rest of you ?
Its fine to ask, but the answer is "no". Autism is a blueprint for how the brain gets wired. Its not something a person 'has', it's a defining attribute of consciousness itself - its what a person 'is'.
If you had a pill that could rewire someone's brain, it would kill that person and use their meat as spare parts to build a different person.
I really like this way of phrasing it. Idk why. It has body horror vibes that I think are fun, but also just feels very accurate.
For me, it's like, I have a lot of knowledge about computers, because I do a lot with computers.
And I do a lot with computers, because they don't overstimulate me like going to parties/events/whatever.
I do imagine, there's other factors involved, too. Like, I'm able to memorize things really well and probably able to think more rationally, which makes me good at computers to begin with, but I'd still have a lot of knowledge about computers and not a lot of knowledge about all the social stuff.
Independently, I also happen to have chronic fatigue+pain. It meant that I spent even more time doing things with computers.
And yeah, that one I've thought harder about. What if I do go to the doctor and they make it disappear. Would I become a different person?
Probably the same answer. I might lose my hyperfocus and pick up more interests over time, but I'd probably still do a lot with computers. I've got hardly any other hobbies now and still far too little time for all my computer side-projects.
Frankly I don't think it's a meaningful question. I don't think my personality would survive untangling all of my AuDHD traits from the rest of me. I don't think it would even be possible to point at specific traits and say for sure whether they are resultant from the ND. It's all me.
Thanks, I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. When you talk about winning the lottery, metaphorically speaking, are there some traits or behaviours you attribute to the ND?
To be open about my motivation for my curiosity, a lot of my professional life I'm supporting ND people. My own NDs are definitely not of a magnitude to be worthy of diagnosis and people are so diverse so I appreciate the opportunity to get someone's perspective directly.
I'm not the same person but I can definitely attribute some negative symptoms of autism in my life.
The biggest negative symptom and limiting factor for me personally is the overstimulation. I can be perfectly comfortable in an extremely chaotic environment and then suddenly with no warning start perceiving every single tiny detail around me.
Touch. Sound. Smell. Temperature. Air currents. THE BUZZING OF ELECTRICITY FLOWING THROUGH WIRES.
It's triggered several panic attacks throughout my life. 0/10 would only recommend for use as torture.
Ungh the electricity in wires is killer.
Sometimes it oscillates with my tinnitus, which is super fun..
Then mix that with a brain that MUST process all lines of conversation and various other sensations around it, and you’ve got a recipe for quick overwhelm, and nobody has a clue why I’m suddenly edgy af.
Thanks for sharing that, the physiological stuff seems to be the hardest to live with, as it's impossible to ignore or control.
For me I benefit greatly from being able to deeply immerse myself in a topic and retain information to an absurd degree if I am interested in that topic. I can recall incredibly minute "fun facts" about a variety of my interests that I may not have been exposed to for some time. And I can integrate the breadth of my knowledge into my problem solving processes.