Off My Chest

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Autistic people are selfish and I'm frustrated every time I work with them (redlemmy.com)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I have my own struggles with BPD and depression, and I know how hard it can be to meet others' expectations, especially when those expectations are not perfectly clear. Some days it's all I can do to get out of bed. I imagine it's just as hard for people with Autism to meet expectations of people who give ambiguous instructions, or are inconsistent with messaging. I'm guilty of communicating my needs poorly, and I understand that some of this frustration is my fault. But I am fucking tired of Autistic people ignoring what I say, interrupting me, asking me to repeat myself, cutting me off, throwing away my suggestions, and just generally being selfish in conversation. They're so demanding. I have two colleagues that I work with regularly that are on the spectrum and they're both a nightmare, I dread seeing them. I'd rather not work with Autistic people at all.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Autistic person here. This hurts.

But I am fucking tired of Autistic people ignoring what I say, interrupting me, asking me to repeat myself, cutting me off, throwing away my suggestions, and just generally being selfish in conversation.

I'm trying my best to read your social cues, but I fuck up reading them every once in a while. Please be patient. Please let us know when we fuck up, even if you have to be rude just please tell us.

asking me to repeat myself

They might have sensory processing disorder, which can make it difficult to process your words. Or, they might just be hard of hearing. Again, please be patient with us.

They're so demanding.

I have put in so many years of therapy, spent so much time trying to figure out how to read people and be a part of your world, and I will continue to do so for as long as I breathe. But accommodation is a two-way street. Please do your part.

I have two colleagues that I work with regularly that are on the spectrum and they're both a nightmare, I dread seeing them. I'd rather not work with Autistic people at all.

Please don't judge all autistic people on the two assholes you work with.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

ok. thanks for responding.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And please understand it's not you that I'm frustrated with. It's two people with common behaviors and diagnoses. That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Have a good day.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

And please understand it's not you that I'm frustrated with.

Understood but...your post title is (as of writing this comment) is "Autistic people are selfish and I'm frustrated every time I work with them". So right off the bat, it seems like you're about to talk about autistic people as a group. Then in the body of your post, you said nothing to suggest that you weren't talking about autistic people in general. Sure you talked about your two autistic colleagues, but you said nothing to suggest that these two autistic colleagues are not representative of autistic people overall.

So I think we're absolutely justified to stand up for ourselves here.

And again, I'm trying to be patient here, but only because I have the energy to be patient today and give you the benefit of the doubt. So you need to be understanding if some of us are less patient with you when we are defending ourselves, even though you didn't mean to attack us (I hope), because we have no way of telling whether you're actually just venting or if you're a bigot using "venting" as entryism.