Sofia "Buff Girlfriend" @sofiabuffgf
Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it's transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.
this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
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Imagine the filth in your average public restroom.
Now imagine if they were all designed with powerful fountains that spray water up and out of the device if not intercepted by an anus.
I’m pretty sure “this is why we can’t have nice things” is true in this case, just pre-emptively.
The wonderful thing about every bidet I've ever used is that they require intentional actions to be activated. I have never gotten a surprise spray yet.
Well let's pull out the toilets too. They can and do make plenty of mess of those. Let's just get rid of public amenities.
I had one with analog pressure control. It was basically just a valve with a limiter you hooked up to toilet's water line. If your hand slipped, you got to do a little spring cleaning. It was not as refreshing as the task sounds.
Ah, the poor mans enema. Sometimes if you have a poop that's not cooperating you can squirt some water up there and it comes out. Source: 😏
I definitely have but it was 100% user error :( I was cleaning my toilet and meant to turn on the nozzle clean but turned on the regular wash instead. I screamed so loud my partner thought I was injured. Thankfully I was wearing glasses I guess.
Surprise sprays tend to happen when your staring over the stradle-style bidet, trying to figure out how the hell to work it.
Met a new friend and his wife once. Had no idea what it was. Touched a knob and the ceiling got wet.
The guy got me set up with a nice job in what ended up being a lucrative career.
They got divorced a few years later. Husband moved out west with a friend's girlfriend. Said friend ended up marrying the wife. She's a slut, and they're going through a divorce now.
nice fuckin story lmao
Surprises of that sort aren’t really the problem, tho that would be.. wild.
The intentional abuse of the devices would be the problem, as would unintentional misuse (eg they are in the wrong position and it misses entirely, or they don’t know what it is and mess with the controls while standing in front of it).
First thing I did after installing a bidet was shoot water 3m onto a wall.
I would like to see an AMA from a first time owner that didn't end up with water on the wall. When in the process of deciding to get one and having it functional did it occur to watch out... or not?
I did after putting it in and watched my partner test it and got another in a different spot.
I got 20 on it.
Same, honestly. You have to make sure it works and you don’t really think to cover it, and even if you did you don’t really know where..
My bidet toilet came with a "demonstration tool". A (transparent) plastic contraption that can be put on the toilet which 1) activates the bum-sensor and 2) blocks the water stream.
The toilet also has a "demonstration" mode, I did not dare to turn that on, though.
And then you find out. And giggle a bit.
You're right. There is nothing stopping folks from throwing toilet paper (clean or dirty) all over the public restroom on purpose and I have spent enough time in airport bathrooms to know that people can make a mess perfectly fine with how restrooms are kitted out today.