this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Anyone do relationship counselling and get anywhere or was it just a waste of time? Spare money isn’t really a thing and it’s expensive af.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

It's worth it but it may take some time to find the right counselor that's a fit for the both of you. The first one we tried didn't sit well with us, we are now seeing another one who is more on our level. It means the both of us approach the session in a more positive light and we both take the feedback on board, rather than starting the session in a negative way and putting up a block because we feel the counselor doesn't understand us

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

It depends greatly on the commitment of the people participating. But sometimes you need to do it to ascertain that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Been doing it for about 18 months this time around, break before that, then for about a year before that. It's definitely not a waste of time for us. Two kids, mortgage pressures, redundancies, loss of close friends to cancer, general stresses of everyday life all contribute to relationship difficulties. It really helps to have a third party give perspective in a safe calm space. Expensive, but if it's the right counselor then totally worth it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It depends on if each person has good faith.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Hmmm. When I keep being told I need to fix things because I’m the problem, and I have to come up with a plan…. It’s not looking promising. If there’s no connection because we have drifted apart due to stress and no quality leisure time, how is it me that’s the problem, when I called it out AND tried to make plans to fix it (going out somewhere together every fortnight because he is sooooo busy) Sorry for airing dirty laundry, just feel hopeless, seems a shame to throw away 20 years like that.

And cost of living makes it a nightmare to split up.