Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
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Am I not allowed to be upset because I hate that this is the world we're living in? My knee-jerk reaction does make me feel bad about myself because I know that even if I'd never be part of the problem, I'll still be judged as though I am, based on my height, weight, looks etc. I've caused people fear or intimidation or concern just by being around in the public sphere, where I'd never hurt a fly but people don't know that.
I've understood for decades that women have absolutely legit issues with men, and I've done my part to correct bad behaviour in my fellow men, wherever possible.
I've been an "unknown man" all my life and I've seen the effects of it on women, and it's always made me feel awful. And it still does. I hate this "man or bear" conversation.
The solution to this problem is to be 'better than average' and bring up the average by leading by example.
Hear hear
You hate the "man or bear" conversation. Imagine how much women must hate it, knowing that you and other "good men" will bemoan their feelings as soon as they express them. Think about how chilling that is to their concerns; how they have to walk on eggshells even around "good men" when they want voice legitimate concerns.
You know who won't get offended? The bear.
Yes, the bear is a hungry carnivore that will murder without the slightest emotion.
But I need you to understand: women don't 100% walk on eggshells around Good Men, no "quotes" needed, in all situations at all times. The women I grew up with regularly expressed their feelings, and when guys made them feel threatened, or awful, other guys would hear about it, have empathy, and understand, and they'd learn. I call out toxic masculinity ASAP, whenever I see it, and I've ended friendships because of it.
I know how threatening I can be with my height and my build. But if you're going to say my feelings are 100% invalid because of my gender and I shouldn't speak my mind and my role is to listen only? That's fascism.
Bears are omnivores and mostly eat plants/seeds/berries. https://www.bearsmart.com/about-bears/food-diet/
Few bears hunt mammals (but we've all seen photos of them hunting fish) but when they do, they hunt young deer/elk/moose, and are more likely to scavenge winter kills or fresh kills made by others (wolves/big cats/etc.).
What you write resonates with how I feel too. It's not fair, is it? I think there's a discussion that must happen, in the future. But right now, it's too inflamed, it's not possible. Then the question is, how do we get there? Can we get there without losing ourselves?
If you were a person you'd be allowed to be upset. But you're a man, men aren't people. They don't have feelings, only women do.
Dude, get some therapy. The world isn't as harsh and bleak as you imply, and if your life experience hasn't already shown you that, you need to stop throwing yourself a pity party and start working on getting better so you can enjoy your life.
My life experience has show me people would rather scream and insult others than recognize and validate experiences and opinions that differ from theirs.
case in point, your comment.
You've got 25 downvotes. Take the hint: Your 'hot take' is crap, and you should work on getting better.
All men have had shitty things happen to them. All of us have been treated unfairly. How we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off matters.
How about being better and validating others persons feelings instead of cheap sarcasm?