this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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Languages change over time. As long as the intent is clear, don't get hung up on what is and isn't "correct". "You're welcome" probably was seen as extreme at some point itself.
I got called out for saying someone was "nuts" for competing in the isle of man TT. Which as a conversational objection, was nuts
What was the beef with "nuts"?
Apparently you can't call someone "nuts" because something about disability
Ay caramba
Languages change, aye
English, only for the worse
Giving permission by saying yes to a "would you mind" question is the hill I die on. Usually I say "I would not mind" but if I'm feeling frisky I'll say no and watch their brain melt.
I mean, I'm fully on board with not getting hung up on what's "correct", but these are words that do have a specific meaning and I do find it interesting that the preferred choice of words shifts (even if it is only caused by relatively few people, that actually think about their word choice there).
Specifically, "no problem" is kind of like saying "there's nothing to thank me for". And ultimately, it kind of says "I don't expect something in return".
Whereas "you're welcome" acknowledges that yes, I did help you, you are right to thank me for that, and also kind of "I would appreciate you returning the favor".
My personal theory is that the change in language happens, because we have a lot more contacts with strangers, either in big/foreign cities or online.
When you help a stranger, you know upfront that they won't be able to return the favor, simply because you won't stay in contact. So, not only should it definitely not be a personal sacrifice for you to help them, it also feels right to communicate that they don't owe you anything, so that they can go on in their life.
No “You’re welcome” means “You deserved that thing already”.
That’s why the Spanish equivalent is “de nada”. It means “You’re thanking me for something that was already yours”
I don't disagree with your interpretation of "you're welcome". At the end of the day, it is still a phrase which sort of weakens a "thanks", out of politeness.
I'm saying that there's a difference between "you deserved that thing already" and "there was nothing I did, which anyone would need to be deservent of".
And "de nada" is actually a bad example here. Yes, the dictionary will tell you that it's a valid translation for "you're welcome", but the actual words translate verbatim to "of nothing", as in "you're thanking me for nothing". So, "de nada" is very much like "no problem" in Spanish.
I kind of disagree with you, in that when I think about the standalone meanings of the words in each phrase, I think they do say the same thing.
The meaning of the words "You are welcome [to the help I gave you]" implies, to me, that there wasn't actually anything to offer thanks over. You're acknowledging their thanks, but telling them that they are welcome to take/use whatever it is you're talking about. [EDIT: normally when someone tells me I'm welcome to something, I feel less compelled to ask and thank in the future. "You're welcome to anything in the fridge", for example.]
It does not imply, to me, that I would appreciate them returning the favour. That might be implied meaning in the phrase, but it's definitely not what those words mean by themselves.
In any case, "You're welcome", "no problem", "no worries", etc... are all idioms that mean something different than what their individual words mean. The phrases as a whole carry a different meaning than the words themselves suggest.
Wow -- I think you're right this makes a lot of sense