this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
1 points (100.0% liked)
ADHD Women
1892 readers
1 users here now
A community for women to find support and discuss living with ADHD.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Can I bring up, on the other hand, too many people now take their diagnosis as a reason to be assholes and not improve themselves. You gotta live in the world that exists, not the one you wish for. Shit is hard. I have a middle aged cousin with severe, untreated autism and he had to learn to live alone, get a job, pay rent, etc. Many parents now get their child's diagnosis and stop trying to make the kids succeed
This is largely what I see as well. People who under any definition would largely fit under the umbrella of "normal" but got a diagnosis of autism, adhd, bipolar, etc. and use it as an excuse to shirk basic responsibilities. And I think this further stigmatizes the problem for people further down the tails of the spectrum who really do need assistance. In some of these mild cases its even been a parent who pushed for the diagnosis when the child was young simply to get them medicated and become less of a hassle. I often think especially with fuzzy definitions like an arbitrary point on a spectrum of behavior of normal on one side and pathological on the other ends up being interpreted universally wrongly for whatever purpose best suits the patient. Largely the same vibe as conversations about xenogender and stuff, labels can have negative utility. It also starts to set some really horrific logic in place for normalizing the use of mood stabilizers/adderall which is an implicit acceptance that the world is immutable and we must change to meet its needs rather than pushing against the ever encroaching walls the rich are erecting around us. I actually do expect people to suffer alongside me striving for a better future... and if you medicate yourself into a conplacent coma, whether it be through weed/alcohol/adderall, I will hold it against you. But I also acknowledge that the root cause is a system we've created that is so hostile to humanity it requires medication to even accept.
I agree with what you're saying, though It can be difficult to tell from the outside how much help a person needs. I 'act' normal and feel like I have to pretend to be someone else, most people would probably assume I'm 'normal', this can make things complicated for friends and family that don't see the level of internal struggle. Especially when my brain tells me I must not be seen as abnormal, I must do everything I can to maintain the image of being normal.
That's part of what I was trying to get at with the second half of my comment. Forcing yourself to appear normal masks reality, pushes the definition of normal further towards homogeneity, reinforces the need for everyone to be medicated to accept reality. But I also think there is a problem with your definition of normal: literally everyone, even the genuinely happiest person alive, is filled to the brim with fear/uncertainty/doubt--that is literally life and its a choice to be happy and make positive connection with people in spite of the nihilism underneath existence. That isn't something to medicate away, in some philosophical interpretations its the entire point of life. It's a lifelong project to learn how to deal with these feelings, they tell us when there's a problem that we need to spend energy to fix, they should be embraced. But I also recognize that the way things "ought" to be is not the same as what's required to achieve that end result. If you need to medicate in order to help bring about a better future where you wouldn't need medication... so be it.
Some people are always going to need medication though. That's what having an executive function disorder means. Would you refuse a person with a broken arm to have medical treatment and pain killers because it's natural to die from sepsis?
I agree with you, there isn't truly a 'normal person,' we all do suffer from the affliction of life and having an intellect. I also agree that we should embrace the odd differences, how boring would a homogenous world be?
What I'm referring to is different than difficult emotional states though, my brain interprets the world in different ways and I have different and more intense responses to stimuli. I've learned to cope with the emotional aspect, but it is difficult to put into words the way my brain operates and how that affects my action.
It feels like I'm trying to walk with no legs sometimes, if I was actually wheelchair bound it would be clear, but it isn't even clear to me what is happening internally.