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I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

While I personally think they aren’t judging me, I sometimes feel like I’m doing exactly what you have described when I compliment people. I try to compliment people whenever I can in order to make them feel good and while it works, I feel like I’m above them for doing so.

Yep, I struggle giving compliments for the same reason! So I give compliments in the way I can receive them, which is to compliment the things that people have said/done or are planning etc, rather than complimenting the person.