this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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Ever watch an extra wide screen film? That black bar above and below licensed content is the perfect place to inform you about exciting products and opportunities!
Did you know that your eyes only look at one spot at a time? Our customer optimizers are working hard to design a system to use AI to identify this spot in every frame, so that we can fill the rest of the screen with even more consumer opportunities! This applies to audio gaps too - we'll fill in those awkward silences with exclusive content!
And wait for them to find a way to inject ads into your sleep cycle a la Futurama! Did you know that on average, people spend one-third of their lives sleeping? This means that if someone sleeps eight hours a night, they will sleep for 229,961 hours in their lifetime, which is about one-third of their life. Think of all the missed opportunities to spend!
I hate you, so much right now.