this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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I feel like the idea that women are otherworldly creatures instead of people and seeing someone being nice to their partner as "the man having tamed a female and convinced her to treat him well" has a lot to do with his problem.
I hate how much that is preserved socially, there's no good reason why that hasn't gone away at least a decade or two ago.
Totally agree. I've been in a relationship for 5 years now, and it most definitely didnt involve me trying to tame her π€£
It was just luck to meet. We both liked each other. That's literally it.
You started with "pspspspsps" and some snacks and you know it
Don't forget the flowers
The important feat is making yourself into a person that the other person would like to have in their life and makes their life better.
Yeah, seeing them as a person seems like a crucial part in that equation.
It's learned helplessness. Once they get rejected 15 times in a row for being a weirdo or something similar, they start to think in that instead of either reflecting back on the experience and trying to be better, or looking elsewhere.
Simply going from zero self improvement to nonzero may not be enough. Thatβs why we call a situation like this a hole. A person in a hole needs to climb to get to ground level.
well yeah i get how you can start doubting yourself after that. sad as fuck.