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Her name? Albert Einstein

I'm trying hard to parse the meaning of "a person existing causes trauma". That's a very uncommon definition of trauma!

Well you don't identify with preferring pepperoni, while you do with being attracted to men or women or both. So that's a difference, although maybe not a fundamental one – I see your question as absolutely fair. Maybe we use two words – preference and orientation – to describe two different experiences, one implying identification and the other not.