Autism

I'm not normal, but I don't think I have autism. I might be prejudiced based on what I think autism looks like and there could be many people who don't fit this description. I find people pleasers who go out of their way to try to smooth over every little issue to be very challenging to deal with. They create pressure to reassure them under the threat of emotional self harm in blaming themselves.

A lot of autistic people tend to stand out in ways that aren't always easy to describe, but they'll often have problems like hair that's too long or not maintained. A "neckbeard" that's never trimmed or trimmed short using a guide. They also wear dirty or damaged clothes.

I had a white autistic employee who got bullied for being a virgin and eventually got fired for attendance after calling out repeatedly because of it. Then he went on a rant and started blatantly calling the other employees the n-word without actually saying it. It created a bad association.

I track everybody with the same method, their logic trees. Everybody's logic is true to themselves, and if you can figure out said logic (which is not easy), it's incredibly easy to figure out a lot of things about a person.

-So, having known 2.5 people with officially diagnosed autism (one autism, one asperger's, one somebody's kid), and combined with the lurking in this community (both pre and post lemmy), I've noticed an odd thing about autistic logic trees.

-Each individual branch on their logic tree is almost always something that a normal person might have. The difference is what a normal person would have that an autistic individual almost certainly either does not have, or has a toddler/child version of. The vast majority of these missing/underdeveloped branches tend to be what are considered right-brained behaviors. It's like autistic people are colorblind, but in regards to right-brained function.

-Meaning roughly, anytime a normal person would use such things as emotion, it appears to me that an autistic person replaces said response with blunt logic. As in, they evaluate things on a flat scale of good/bad, with disregard to whether emotion was originally involved. One of the behaviors that I notice from autistic people is that they almost always choose a method that is guaranteed over a method that isn't, regardless of whether or not it actually matters. This causes odd responses whenever a normal person "likes" something that is just flatly bad in an autistic individual's mind (or hates something that is flatly good), and also when the guaranteed methods aren't supposed to be used often/repeatedly.

-A portion of autistic people have figured this out, to mean that many individual preferences have approximately jack shit to do with intelligence or anything else. I might not be able to discern the difference between these people and a "neurotypical". They'd just be people who do things slightly oddly to me (which is basically everybody).

-A portion of autistic people appear to have learned that liking "bad" things means that you are stupid. That's what it sounds like to me when they call all NTs stupid and start making assumptions about NT behavior and reasoning. It sounds like they're projecting.

If yall want some tips about interacting with people here are some

-The average person really is very stupid. But also very easy going. Tell them in advance that you're not judging them even if it looks that way.

-Tell people in advance that you suck at people skills. This is a totally normal thing to suck at and people won't be surprised.

-Allow people to be wrong. Mistakes is how people learn and how evolution works. Also, when you get to the top of human knowledge, you will realize that you're still missing something and the only two tools you will have for such an occasion is doing random shit and exploding shit to see what happens.

-Separate assholes from "neurotypical". Those are not the same. The average person doesn't know how to deal with things they haven't encountered (that's you, and your job to teach them). Assholes require exactly zero personal responsibility and for everything to be exactly their way and no other way.

It can look like nothing's going on behind those eyes. But there is. It just doesn't leave the body the same way.

People. Just people.

Speaking as autistic about how i perceive others perceiving me. I have an above average and rather specific social awareness (not skill) so i so pick allot up.

People are unique and come in all flavors and types but in general i can categorize them as below from best to worst.

• Is unknowingly neurodivergent with their own challenges and can work easily with me. To them i am just normal.

• Is an NT with knowledge about the spectrum, they treat me like i am normal and otherwise look away or whisper a explicit hint, sometimes ask extra questions to make sure all is good and clear.

• average NT, will start treating me like normal but by every strangeness they witness will become more skeptical about my intelligence and performance. After learning i am on the spectrum some will either slowly become NT with knowledge or they will start avoiding me.

• Narcist NT, does not care, either someone is a useful tool or you are an obstacle, sometimes both. In that way they treat us the same as NT’s except if there is early Miscommunication they move you to the discard pile very quickly

For kids: People will bully you for being different, avoid you to not also get bullied or they are already your best friend.

Continue talking about the Topic after the initial Question is answered, just going on and on. Is something i find is common with a Frend of mine

i think it’s tricky to get a blanket reading because autism can look so dramatically different from one person to the next. i was diagnosed last year (AuDHD) and have since been learning how varied autism can be across different demographics and comorbidities. when i’m stressed, overworked, and/or overloaded, i tend to withdraw to trigger my hyperfocus. a recent new hire in my department who is pretty clearly also autistic has been driving me nuts because when he is stressed, overworked and overloaded, he tends to try to control everything around him with a hyperfocus on what everyone else is doing, instead of focusing on his own work. to the NT’s in the group, i doubt they would think to put him and myself in the same category.

To me there's a few general signs, I don't read into them though. When talking with someone and I need to go, they won't pick up on social queues that I'm trying to wrap the conversation up and I need to be more direct. Playing board or video games and someone is very meticulously thorough. Having unusual views on sensory things (for example, a friend genuinely thought that mustard and mayo tasted similarly). Just slightly unusual mannerisms that require interacting differently sometimes, usually just being more direct.

I don't know any autistic people in my life, which is statistically unlikely, so I guess I just don't notice.

I love this question, thanks. Would you consider reposting in AskLemmy, maybe? Or would that attract too much bullshit into this community?

I really hope more people will answer this, it's very helpful for me. I've isolated myself more than usually lately, and have let my anti-social autism bits take over. So in real-life company I'm ... not good company currently. It used to be better before I went into hiding for 3y, and I'm ready and would like to start reconnecting with people again. Knowing about other peoples' experiences really supports this step. So NT person, if you are here and not sure if you should answer, please do.

At work they can sometimes be a bit overexcited to see me, I don't mind, but can sometimes feel a bit awkward when it's a bit more attention than I want.

I see it during moments of high stress or panic, and how they react. A lot of people in my workplace are on the spectrum.

How I handle it is usually the same with anybody. Give them space to recollect, and ask for next steps. Sometimes I break their tasks into smaller bites. Sometimes I switch their task to something with a different modality, like less mental work or more research work.

While I want to say that I treat people differently who I know are on the spectrum, I kind of don't. Everyone needs space, some more than others.

I really only know when it's on the heavier end of the spectrum, and generally those people come across as tense/on edge and incredibly serious.

"look like" in what sense?

I don't think I've ever "clocked" an autistic person. I'm not very perceptive with social cues, though.

Having bridged both worlds, here's how they are viewed as described by a few people that stuck with me all these years.

The first one I "go to thought" was more than one person is "awkward." Some even describing them "out of step, socially." Imagine a clock that is running fast or slow, but you have mentally compensated because generally, you can adapt depending on other clues. But they are always off, and you might have to warn others ahead of time.

Another comment was how autistic personalities are in that "uncanny valley of behavior" where people notice something is off, and it can be frightening but they are not sure why. Since autism is a spectrum of behaviors, which approach depends subjectively on the viewer. Kids, for example, can target autistic kids, and because they are developing socially, will group in "us" and "not us." Autistic kids are "not us," and the target of bullying. A lot of teachers know autistic kids just by how they are treated by others. "You're too weird," was something a lot of kids might say with developing language skills. The may not know WHY they hate a certain kid, but know that they DO. And "something is wrong."

Personally, I see autism as some kind of evolutionary response to a civilization that is growing faster that humans can compensate. In order to get actual insight, one has to be "out of step," lest they just end up trapped in the normal static of everyday compulsion. Like any other evolutionary advance, nature is "trying out" various things. Most will lead to dead ends. A few will adapt in other ways, and some will flourish in a new niche with new types of diversity. I have no proof of this, but I think it's more than "well, we define autism differently now." Yes, there were always people who were "touched by fae" or whatever convention was explained back in the day, but something has really changed. I personally think this and gender fluidity is a positive sign of things to come.