Accidentally made it like, 2.5 weeks without shaving my body, shaved yesterday, and looking back my mood was gradually worsening each day. Not gonna let it get that bad again.
Switched to a Pixel with grapheneOS, enjoying it so far.
this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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I started on a new antidepressant in addition to the other one and the initial side effects have been making everything much worse. I'm 4 for 7 on eating this week and my world has largely shrunk from my apartment to my couch. No point to doing anything, I just hide under my weighted blanket and pretend I've already died
currently in a hotel, hours away from my scheduled orchiectomy
mostly feeling a mix of anxiety that I have deluded myself into this, that I'm about to commit to a mistake, and joy at the thought of not having testes anymore - all the ways I will finally be able to sit and walk and not feel discomfort, the freedom from that nauseating and disgusting feeling when they slap against my thigh, and of course a guarantee that the spectre of testosterone will never haunt my body again
Woah, cool! Good luck with the surgery.
Good! Loving the effects of HRT. It's definitely "magic is real" levels of mind-blowing. Although more than that is how not bad I feel since allowing myself to ... be myself. No more "what if I was a girl", no more "I wish I could fill out this sweater", no more "I'm wasting my life", no more meat-puppet, no more waiting to die.
I'm trans, and it's awesome. (Can my beard just go away now kthx)
Oh, and I finally reached the summit in Celeste. Take that, self-doubt.
🥰
So happy for you! 😁
Side note, I bought Celeste last Steam sale but haven't played. Need to get on that.
Pretty good, really glad to have a break from work. Dysphoria has been very strong though.
It's been a decent week. Things have been calm. I like that the weather is finally cold now.