Asklemmy

Someone sent me what they referred to as a self-help DVD that was just some motivational speaker type of person invalidating my issues. A virus in the DVD also temporarily destroyed my friend's DVD player in the process of playing it.

I've always been a computer/theatre nerd. When I was a teen my parents bought me a bike. I did not express nor have any interest in a bike, but I'm sure my mom felt I needed to go outside more and spend less time on the computer. A week or two later while upset at me about something else she complained that I haven't even used my new bike yet.

Years ago my father in law gave me a Costco sized flat of Nanaimo bars. Like just wrapped it and that was that. I was so bummed as I thought it was a big coffee table book. I ended up cutting them all in half and freezing them, so we had treats through the year. My husband and I still joke about it. As we passed them in Costco last week he suggested I return the favour.

My Dad once gifted me a bazinga shirt. I don't watch the big bang theory.

Oh fuck i have a long history of this...

My parents got me a cheap set of tools, pliers, screw drivers, level and a wood burner with no wood to burn at 10. My brother got a gameboy SP and Pokémon.

Two years later I got an electric shaver and Cologne. I didn't start growing facial hair until 17 and didn't have enough to need more than one pass with a razor until 26. Still have the Cologne, it's not awful but it's also not a smell that works for me.

14 I got a store made cake and $20. I can't eat the cake, the frosting makes my face hurt and that's been a problem since I was 5 so they know I can't eat the cake.

Basically, I didn't get a present for me until I met my wife at 30.

So I’m a trans guy and as a kid I was very obviously masculine, stereotypical tomboy. One of my aunts that married into the family gave me, maybe around age 5-7, a toy makeup kit. To this day I don’t know wtf she was thinking, because it wasn’t like she never met or saw me. Was it thoughtless or passive aggressive? Who can say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Top three would be my weird Christmas 'bonuses' from a previous employer. In order of weirdness: some fake notes (representing the companies record profits that year), a single bike pedal, and finally a spanner which had been spray painted orange.

My mother-in-law gave me a booked called The Etiquette Edge which essentially explained how to be polite

I was given 30 quarters that had letters and numbers on each one in a black velvet pouch. If you put them in a certain order, it had a message. The quarters went in year order. The message was a Bible passage according to Matthew. It was when Judas was given 30 silver for betraying Jesus.

The context, I told one of our friends that the gifter was trying to get with his wife while he was deployed. He denied and then made me feel like shit to insinuate such a thing. Turns out, it was true.

I still have the quarters so I could give them back some day.

Not the gift itself, but the response.

First of all, even before Christmas I said I'd prefer NO GIFTS at all. Regardless, my dad got me some inkjet HP printer. I thanked him for it, but asked him that we'd return it. I tried to be respectful, but regardless, he got mad at me and didn't talk with me for like 2 days.

Later he sent me the money for it and asked me to buy something for it and show him what it was. I do not know why I couldn't just keep it as extra money, but oh well, it had to be spent on something.
I got a refurbished ThinkPad for that. Pretty good device, by far beating value of HP inkjet. I even got it with a 2 year warranty (without extended) like with a new device, while only 1 year is required.

XXL pajamas. I'm a medium bordering on small so I was swimming in them.

I think I also got a video game for a console I didn't have but the gesture was nice.

I received a framed picture of my parents, from my parents. They said it was because I didn't have a picture of them hung up in my house.

My mother got me Rogaine for my birthday last year. Pretty rude and uncalled for I felt but now I've stopped cutting it and have the longest hair I've ever had so I guess she hit a nerve with that one

At the call center I worked at, our Christmas bonus was a dress shirt with the company logo on it.

My wife wears it when she dyes her hair.

My grandmother bought me a dark green, polyester, turtle-neck shirt; when I was 12. I never even tried it on.

My gran once gave me a toilet brush. The base had penguins floating in blue liquid, but it was ultimately just a cheap toilet brush.

I gave her a beautiful marble maze.

I didn’t bother after that.

In middle school, there was this one super unpopular girl that gifted me acne medication for Christmas.... Unprompted. We weren't even friends and yes, I had acne problems like most teens did.

I never bullied anyone in my life before and since, but I did that year.... This was why she was so unpopular. The year after, she called 1 of the 2 only black kids the N word, got her ass kicked and either removed or expelled from school.

I have no idea why anyone would go around picking fights, especially with no friends to begin with. Before anyone asks, no, no mental health issues.

Edit: I also wasnt "popular" and had very little friends too. I mean, it wasnt right either way to turn bully either but I was young

Nothing

My sister wanted me to be the Godfather to her children. She considered it a "gift."

I'm an atheist. I told her explicitly "Hey, you remember I'm an atheist, right?" Part of this whole Godfather business is making a promise to raise them religiously if their parent dies. I thought I was being considerate and kind by being honest that I did not want to be a Godfather because I could not in good conscience make such a promise.

Nope, I'm the bad guy, not the person who knew I was atheist and decided to not respect that at all anyway by asking me to be a Godfather to begin with.

I once got a picture of a really cool present from my dad, which he said was in the mail. Never got the present.

I think I only ever received one good present.

People keep giving me steak house gift cards.

I'm a vegetarian. I can only eat a roll there.