this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
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Science Memes

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(page 2) 49 comments
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 16 hours ago

Cats after entering a human stranger's house: Look at me. I'm the meowner now.

Humans: Yes, oh cute one!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

The fact that only two creature in this world that will approach another creature 10 times bigger than them just so they get adopted is pretty impressive. That's how i adopted my 4th cat, little baby dude just came out from under a car and yell at me until i pick him up.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah in 4legged furballs its cute. In 2legged douchebags its not.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

When I was a kid Mr Kitty unilaterally moved in despite belonging to the neighbors across the street and the stern objections of my father armed with a squirt gun.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

I never liked cats at all and one did exactly that. Stupid fuck make me fall absolutely in love with it too.

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Oh sure, when the cat walks into a house and wants to live there, they're all "omg it's so cute" and "let's go buy it food and a bed", but when I do it, they're all "who the hell are you?" and "leave or I'm calling the cops" :(

[–] [email protected] 89 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Have you tried meowing at them?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 16 hours ago (6 children)

don't do this. it only made things escalate in my experience

[–] [email protected] 22 points 16 hours ago

Don't pick a house with a dog next time.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Do you think it's the same way with viruses entering body cells?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Nah, I assume it's more like some unconscious dude shows up at your house with a weirdly sharp penis, he impregnates the house, and then the house explodes and a bunch of little dudes spill out.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

One dildo through the window IN, thousands of dildos through the walls OUT. Got it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I shudder to write this, but it's more like a self-replicating knife dildo. Or a sawzall.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

Cats are the perfect human parasite.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Did cats domesticate humans, or did Toxoplasma gondii domesticate both of us?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

Gaslighting is so last year. We need new slang - fenceposting, backyarding, BarneyRubbling.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 19 hours ago

Your PFP is blank

[–] [email protected] 96 points 20 hours ago (6 children)

Humans are just exceptionally weak to cute. If aliens ever show up and try to conquer us, we're going to be so screwed if they happen to be adorable.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Even if they were horrors beyond our comprehension, a whole lot of people would be still be very sexually aggressive towards them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Honestly that may be what saves us. They try to manipulate us by being cute, we weird them out by being horny.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 17 hours ago

There's a Philip K Dick short story about this, "The war with the Fnools"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 19 hours ago

Aww nibbler

[–] [email protected] 12 points 19 hours ago

If aliens turn up and they're like "Give me snacks. And a fluffy bed." I think we'd be like "...aight."

[–] [email protected] 44 points 19 hours ago (5 children)

Speak for yourself, I hope the furry aliens make me their pet.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

I would love the life of a house pet as long as I can play video games instead of sleeping all the time.

We just collectively need to convince our new overlords that it’s enrichment and just let me keep it I already have it, and I’ll be totally friendly and compliant whenever you want, I can pause, it’s cool.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago

Yeah, I mean I can multitask licking their tentacles while I game.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

It's all fun and games until de-worming time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

How many people have worms? I thought that was rare... Am I missing something and Kennedy is actually not an odd-ball?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Not many people have them, but the aliens don't know which ones - and they already have the anal probe equipment handy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

Shit, here I thought we were all going to just take heart guard haha. Your way doesn't sound as fun.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Well, I guess you're getting screwed anyways

[–] [email protected] 12 points 19 hours ago

Maybe he likes getting screwed.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Cats never domesticated themself, since ever they are specialists in domesticate humans, for commodity, not for need.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 16 hours ago

Spot on. Cats are the OG scientists who stuck around to see what they could make us do after they discovered monkeys gave good tummy rubs.

Yadda-yadda, we industrialize food production and build awesome cozy dens to live in, yadda-yadda, they're watching us burn the world like, "fascinating... now, can I make the monkey give me treats 2 minutes earlier than this time last week..."

Only reason they don't have us outright worshipping them is we tried it once or twice, but things got weird.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 21 hours ago

I love all cats, and they are free to walk inside anytime they want. Just no fighting in the house.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Is anyone else bothered by people saying their cat is lost? -No; it left a toxic relationship! "They stole my cat" -Nah, it moved out!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 20 hours ago

Or something got to it. Pretty sure that's what happened to our outside childhood cat. Miss ya up there, Rover.

[–] [email protected] 126 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

People always say they look cute and yea sure,

But did y'all forget the fact that they can literally get rid of all your mice problems?

I got a cat because for companionship and one month later, all those filthy mice are gone.

Being soft and warm to pet, and the beautiful meows, are just the cherry on top of their lovely companionship.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

They -can- do that yes. Whether or not they will choose to, however, is anyone’s guess.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Even if you have a lazy cat, mice have since learned to avoid the smell of cat pheromones. So just having a fat furball laying around will make it more likely the local mice go bother your neighbor instead.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

They will have a joyous time with it. And you might find eviscerated mice under your couch one day. But my two dumbass fur balls just thought they were awesome toys.

Never figured out quite when they stopped coming in. The only really humane way to kill em is snap traps. I probably went through a couple dozen of them before they stopped showing up.

I was against using poisoned food traps because the last thing I wanted was my cat consuming a poisoned mouse. But, since our whole neighborhood had a problem with the mice, I wouldn't be too surprised if a neighbor did it.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

They rarely need to in the city, also those that weren't taught by other cats most of the time won't kill the mouse just torture it or scare.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Well, whatever my cat did, the mice are gone so... 🤷‍♂️

I did see a few dead mice around the first 2 months, now no sight of mice.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

You are lucky, in my previous flat there were hoarders-alcoholics that lived on the next floor, one day they brought mice with whatever shit they decided to take. At first they were contained on their floor, but after a while they were everywhere. Cat played with them at first >_< and then got bored. After 10 or so that traps killed (in a month) I moved out.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Your experience reminded me of "Tom," the farm cat who lived in the corn silo on my great aunt's farm. He avoided/hated children but tolerated the adults who worked there. Depending on the season, he killed multiple mice a day, ate only their livers (leaving behind a trail of bodies), and used crippled mice to track down the hidden others. Tom was a true professional—and honestly, quite terrifying.

Edit: My aunt "paid" him with leftover spaghetti, ground meat, and eggs, as well as a warm spot by the oven in the winter (if he chose to stay there). He was "semi-feral"—never going near the house during the summer months.

Edit2 + Spelling,Typos,Grammar,

[–] [email protected] 20 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

What the fuck kinda Hannibal Lecter cat...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Ive always wondered about the poor villagers who lived in tigers territory. Every night a kitty comes out to play.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 19 hours ago

One of my calicos likes eating the bottom half of lizards and leaving them alive. She's a sadist.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 21 hours ago

They are funny, don't really need a lot of space and training, and look pretty. Ofc I will go and by whatever.

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