Nowadays though, we (or some of us at least) wish to leave less of a mark.

Do you remember any of the older names?

My favorite was "a sucking chest wound is Nature's Way of telling you you've been in a firefight".

Oh my sweet summer child...

Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.

Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

I have buggered men

Secundus likes to screw boys.

If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.

The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

I want a spinoff focusing on animals fucking with humans in ancient times, like paw prints in bricks or on documents. Must be a treasure trove of hilarious antics throughout the times

Our ancestors' brains went from chimpanzee-sized to modern-sized (actually slightly bigger than today) between two million and one million years ago, and more importantly the language-governing areas increased in size during that stretch. So human beings a million years ago were very much like us today, just without the advanced technology.

Millions of years, likely. The whole reason we’re successful is because our pre-human ancestors were empathetic and cooperative enough to build societies.

We see those same traits in many other primates, and they’re not something it makes sense to evolve, lose, and evolve again. Those traits predate us.

Language almost certainly predates us, since we see it not only in other primates, but in non-primate species, too. And based on the humour we see in many animals, you can bet we were making dick jokes nearly out of the gate.

Always has been. This is where the whole "Dark Ages" idea comes from, IIRC: people further on in time wanting to separate themselves as special and more advanced.