The idea that voting for a third-party candidate is somehow "helping" one of the major party candidates is based on the assumption that the third-party candidate's voters would have otherwise voted for one of the major party candidates.
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In the current situation you could try to pretend that your vote is useful by not voting or voting third parties. But that it is not the reality of the consequences.
Blanket statements don't work. How each state allocates votes to electoral college votes varies, and each states political leaning varies.
There are times when not voting or voting third party effectively has no effect or the opposite effect.
These oversimplified takes are tiring and pathetic.
Get better arguments.
Ideally just get proportional representation with something like ranked choice voting and make it possible for 3rd party votes to count for something.
Technically, there can be a difference, but only if you are a Trump supporter