The general rule is that it's ALWAYS the feelings stage unless you're specifically asked for help.
this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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See, I get that this is a thing, but I don't understand why you just want someone to listen. What does sitting here, looking you in the eye and opening my ears, specifically do to make you feel better about the problem you're having?
Because humans are social creatures, and we like to know that other people understand our pain.
For example, I might complain that I got a bad review as an actor. What I need is for people to say "Fuck that critic!" and "That really sucks man." not "Have you tried taking classes to get better?" Sure, that's objectively the correct advice but it isn't what even the most logical human wants to hear when they're upset.
this is genuinely great, I love support like that
i'm grateful he recognizes there's a difference.
I have been with wife almost thirty years. I wish it had occurred to me to ask this so many times before saying something. So many times.
I agree. Having a natural tendency to want to solve a problem makes us want to fix it immediately but sometimes it's not the answer, when they just want to vent or someone to listen.