this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (7 children)

If anyone is curious if the girl was buying a single $5 coffee per day, contributing that $35 into a basic S&P 500 fund each week, and doing so for 2 years she should have about $4500 in her account. Now, if she's buying coffee supplies at a grocery store to replace buying it at take out , we'd have to subtract the cost of coffee supplies from the $4500 to know how much she truly saved making coffee at home.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I don’t know how anyone can survive on a cup of coffee a day.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Providing she doesn't spiral into a coffee hobby.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago

My father has not gifted me the bootstraps made from billions in exploited labour, but the exploitation of coffee producers tastes like I'm already there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Still tastes better at least

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Eight O'Clock whole beans fresh ground and percolated to perfection. chef's kiss

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

It’s less a lack of willingness - I’m just never presented with opportunities to massively defraud corporations

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You don't defraud corporations, that'll earn you the scorn of powerful people. You defraud poor people.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh, you can defraud shareholders as well. You just have to tell more compelling lies and secure the right accomplices. Get the auditors on board and you can ride the sinking ship for at least a couple years before you finally run out of cash and the entire organization collapses within a matter of days.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well that doesn’t sound nearly as fun

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

But it’s more fun because you get to make more of them.

/s, because last time I didn’t, people took me seriously…

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Have you tried being born into wealth?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago

I tried real hard, but I got born into lower middle class by mistake. My bad, I should've tugged harder on my bootstraps while I was an incorporeal potentiality.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I don't even buy avocado toast, I should be a billionaire by now

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago

That's your problem. If you never buy it in the first place, you can't stop buying it. You can't save nothing from nothing!

Here, let me help you out:

  1. Be rich
  2. Squander your money on avocado toast and greater luxuries
  3. Stop squandering your money on these things
  4. Now you're rich.

If you don't do 2., how can you expect 3. to work?!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

Own a home, at least

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Must go cheaper: caffeine pills.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Caffeine powder. The best part of waking up, is snorting rail of FDA certified caffeine. You WILL have to explain some things to HR, but they will trust your explanation because of everything else in your HR binder.

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