Such is life if you don't follow rule 1&2.
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
- Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
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I had a friend who tried the same thing, bars and such. He didn't try anybody in his friend group and he was more ir less isolated at work, so there was no real pool of people to look into. I suggested getting a cheap seat at the ballpark and he balked saying he didn't like sports. I told him even if he walked the concourse, there were still folks he could interact with. He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.
He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.
I suggested getting a cheap seat at the ballpark
He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.
Oof
Ez secks and drugs. That's better than a relationship.
Wild.
Woah that story took a turn I Did not expect
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I'm part of a social activity meetup group that also does a bit of volunteer stuff for folks In need. I'm already with someone but I've watched people meet and pair off in that group several times. It happens.
If you smell shit everywhere you go, check your shoes.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a bar either. Try taking a class, joining some sort of athletic thing (jogging, cycling, yoga) volunteering somewhere. Go to a place where you're doing an activity with a group, and the focus isn't dating. Takes the pressure off and allows for getting to know people naturally.
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I go out and interact with strangers all the time, make acquaintances and friends, and when I was interested, even met women to date. I'm autistic, awkward, and have anxiety. If I can do it, most neurotypicals should be able to as well. I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously. It takes time to build rapport with an individual or group, but consistency is key. You'll often be surprised by the people who look forward to seeing you.
I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously
In my experience it's oftentimes men that are looking to date women way more attractive than them. Like some fat slob incel that refuses to date or bang a chubby chick and then gets mad they're not picking up women that are hot AF and upset "nobody will date [them]."
It's stupid, I know a guy on discord just like that. Unattractive fat guy and when I mentioned I think the biggest thing to coupling is being realistic and dating people about the same attractive level ... Dude balked at that. Was like "what about a guy that has a great personality," the man is delusional. No job, on food stamps and just getting by, living in a one bedroom (maybe studio?) apt, slobby and fat then hits the surprise Pikachu face that women don't want to date him. Not to mention his social skills. Talk about a total lack of self awareness.
Sure maybe if you were extremely rich a woman might overlook your physical appearance but let's be realistic here.
That to me is the problem most people have but I agree with the instantaneous thing too - it takes time to get in the groove so to speak. I've seen it go both ways gender wise just picking on my fellow dudes here.
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The true key is…counterintuitive as this sounds, not looking.
Try enjoying yourself, meeting people, doing things you like. People can sense desperation or dishonesty in you when you’re feigning interest or trying to get in their pants. Just…be a decent person, and you can find people who you get along with. It happens more naturally that way and you’re more likely to find…yknow, people you like and who like you.
And plus, once you do have a relationship, it'll be a lot stronger because you won't desperately need to be in that relationship at any costs.
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Probably one of the most socially friendly places I recall in recent years was a CrossFit gym. I know people shit in them as being full of cultish twats, and to some extent I won't argue that, but compared to a standard gym there's quite a 'us' rather than 'me' vibe to it. Find those kind of places where people look to support and improve each other rather than show off what they know or can do.
Though I'm about the least socially apt person around one thing that really has stuck out to me, don't go there with a goal other than to do the thing. If you go with the goal of a date you're gonna be disappointed, go with the intent of doing what you like instead.