this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 14 comments
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Have they ever tried sucking down some Sunny D instead?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I too love sucking and need more D

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Username checks out.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Aaah! Begone hellspawn!

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah, and they could get vitamin supplements instead of sucking my blood.

I mean not MY blood, I never go out in the sun either but you get the idea.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I like to pretend that my inability to tan and only get sunburned is because really I'm a vampire. Unfortunately being that pale does not seem to increase the amount of vitamin d your body produces in sunlight :/

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I was about to say. Over the counter vitamin d is so cheap you can buy it at the freaking Dollar tree.

Why the fuck do I have to spend a third of my life growing new blood cells and healing neck wounds for these mighty bitey bastards?

It's not my fault they didn't put $1.27 into a savings account in 1820 and are now multi-millionaires that can afford the good shit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah but theyve been drinking natural blood for thousands of years, you cant just change that with artificial, store-bought pills!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You know, I never realized how much vampires could collect in compound interest over several lifetimes...

I feel like banks would try to cap & regulate the hell out of that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Unless they OWN all the banks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

...why does this feel like the part of the story just before the [REDACTED] show up?