Okay but the real question being asked is "which of the two should we give the One Ring too?"
And the answer may surprise you!
this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
505 points (97.6% liked)
The Onion
4342 readers
465 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
The twist is that halfling votes don't matter because Eriador is a solid Galadriel state. The only votes that matter are votes from small enclave of erratic Men in South Gondor
Why is the hero Galadriel bragging about being endorsed by Grima Wormtongue and the Witch King of Amgmar? And what happened to all the Haradrim?
Was worried that the actual Onion had posted Liberalism, but thankfully it's some knockoff
load more comments
(1 replies)
This post is a good reminder why I need to sort by Local and not All.
She wants to fill your farmland with trees! Useless trees! No more taters or pipe weed! Good luck digging a new burrow with all those roots. Speaking of roots, did you hear about the Ents? All they do is destroy our towns, ripping our dams apart so they can drink all our water. Horrible, horrible creatures, and they will tread all over your flower gardens if you let this self-centered "elf queen" have her way!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Was Galadriel pledging strong endless support for a genocide? I don't remember that part of the books if I'm honest.
Hmm, let me guess, you're voting for Grima Wormtongue?
Didn't Galadriel straight up say that if she were given the power of the Ring she'd turn into a tyrant? Like, if the choices are Sauron (tyrant, given the power) and Galadriel (tyrant, given the power) it seems most correct to pick Frodo (trying to unmake the source of corruptive and destroying power).
Like, if anyone wielding the Ring for any purpose will be subordinate to its will no matter their intentions, and ultimately will subjugate all others, then the dichotomy is not which wielder, but whether the Ring should exist or not.
load more comments
(5 replies)
I'd vote for Frodo, since he's ignoring all of the ridiculous political bullshit and actually trying to do a revolutionary act by building a fellowship and working together with his friends to destroy the source of the evil rather than fighting over who is the best one to control the evil.
I swear it's like you people haven't even read the books!
Ahh, yes, Frodo. The one who actually gave into the ring and was only saved by someone literally biting it and the attached finger off.
Also, brave call to say that Frodo exerted an ounce of agency. Frodo was a puppet of the existing power structure and elites who essentially got tricked into going without understanding what was at stake, repeatedly put the ring on despite Gandalf telling him not to, got stabbed and almost died, and then because no one could trust anyone else with it, was the default choice to keep going with a group he had no say in creating.
If you were going to pick someone, you should at least have gone with Samwise.
Talk about someone who hasn't read the books.
Frodo was saved by the community he built along the way. That's why we build community in the first place. Media literacy isn't that hard if you put your mind to it!
He was saved by Gollum biting his fucking finger off, but sure. Keep simping for your rich, nepo-baby, landowning bourgeois. Find it hilarious seeing someone from hexbear backing the landlord in the story.
Liberals can only imagine last minute ass-pulls saving the day and devalue anyone and anything else striving to avert calamity. Otherwise, it's all Adults In The Room that Make The Hard Decisions and Get Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.
And judging by how you're talking here, you identify as one such Adult In The Room that Makes The Hard Decisions and Gets Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.
Find it hilarious
Sure you do.
And yet I don't find it surprising that the ee is backing genocidal maniacs, that seems pretty par for the course
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(4 replies)
Ahh, yes
That's such a tiresome and arrogant Reddit-standard opener for your reply that I'm doubting that "withsoul" part of your name.
It's the only way to break the system!
Genocide propaganda. Why do you support, or at least not have a problem with, the extermination of the Palestinian people?
Hypothetically and only for the sake of argument, let's say Harris "supports genocide". We know Trump supports …let's call it "Genocide+". What does that leave? I believe most people think Harris will make getting a permanent ceasefire and supporting a two state solution central tenets of her administration. And Trump will do something insane that will threaten many more innocent lives across the entire region.
You can cast a vote for the imperfect candidate (which is every candidate ever), you can cast a vote for the candidate most likely to start World War III. Or you can cast a vote for ~~Grima Wormtongue~~, oops I mean Jill Stein, who is on the take from both the Russians and the GOP, and end up helping WWIII guy. Those are your options. It's not necessarily a fun choice, but it shouldn't be a hard one.
Trump Derangement Syndrome lives in every liberal that can just say out loud with no reason besides 'orange man bad' that the unconditional and enthusiastic support for genocide that already exists would be worse under Trump.
And I honestly don't believe you're acting in good faith. I think you're a disgusting fucking piece of shit that's just latching your own personal cause (electing a nazi) to the cause célèbre.
Is this a bit?
You support genocide. You're a geek without a soul.
Oh no! A cutting remark about my username!!! However will I survive?!
Over 200,000 Palestinians haven't survived the past year and you don't care. Never trust a narcissist to have anyone else's interest at heart.
Oh no! A cutting remark about my username!!! However will I survive?!
I should know better
Yes. You should stop posting because you're convincing no one and your posts are only pleasing yourself in a kind of embarrassing way.
load more comments
(2 replies)
We know Trump supports …let's call it "Genocide+"
Holy shit it's you, the liberal every leftist has been joking about for a year. I'm sorry we spoke you into being with our irresponsible comedy.
You really should be more careful. I could be in the room with you right now!
You really should be more careful. I could be in the room with you right now!
Everyone That Disagrees With You Is Mentally Ill And Mentally Ill People Are Fundamentally Wrong And Must Be Silenced, a bedtime story for scratched liberals.
We know Trump supports …let's call it "Genocide+"
We do know that? Biden and Harris are currently ok with the IOF sealing off an area with 400k+ people in it, hoping to starve them to death. No, if you’re going to claim Trump will do something more, be specific. Because outside of dropping a nuke on Gaza there isn’t much more that can be done, we’re at what essentially is maximum genocide that is reasonably possible.
I believe most people think Harris will make getting a permanent ceasefire and supporting a two state solution central tenets of her administration.
Oh wait, you’re serious. Oh you sweet summer child. I can even be mad at you. But not only do most people not believe this, most people know this is patently false because it IS false. Btw the reason people like Blinken and Harris bring up a 2 state solution is because Israel has made it functionally impossible.
I should know better, but sure, I'll bite. You want specifics of what Trump thinks?
https://www.reuters.com/world/netanyahu-denies-report-he-spoke-trump-about-gaza-talks-2024-08-15/
In an event later on Thursday about tackling antisemitism, Trump criticized Biden and Harris' months-long calls for a ceasefire in Gaza.
"From the start, Harris has worked to tie Israel's hand behind its back, demanding an immediate ceasefire, always demanding ceasefire," Trump said, adding it "would only give Hamas time to regroup and launch a new October 7 style attack."
Trump added: "I will give Israel the support that it needs to win but I do want them to win fast."
In the same event, Trump also labelled pro-Palestinian supporters calling for an end to U.S. support for Israel's war as "pro-Hamas thugs" and "jihad sympathizers." He threatened to arrest and deport them from the U.S. if he became president.
Netanyahu's office and Trump both separately denied on Thursday an Axios report that said they had spoken the previous day about Gaza ceasefire and hostage release talks.
This was back in August, and the dude has Bibi on speed dial. If he cared one iota, he could have been leaning on Netanyahu and making public calls for an end to Israel's crimes since this started. But he hasn't and he'll do far worse if elected. Hell, he'll send US ground troops throughout the region killing civilians right and left if the price is right. And sell Ukraine down the river too. Never trust a narcissist to have anyone else's interest at heart.
You might want to sit down for this but… Donald Trump is a big talker, and will usually bloviate well beyond what he’s actually capable of doing. Yeah of course, he uses more genocidal language but so what, how does that translate into action?
Biden has given Bibi everything he’s asked for. The administration has provided diplomatic cover for every single genocidal action that taken place. Weapons are sent to Israel without delay, to the point that supplies are getting stretched there’s talk about how Ukraine and Israel can’t both be supported (guess who’s losing out there btw). Every time Biden draws a red line, Bibi crosses it with zero consequences.
But as you correctly point out, there is really only one way a president could be MORE genocidal than Biden, and that’s by committing ground troops. I should point out that Biden has already done this with the recent THAAD deployment, but that’s not a massive commitment of personnel. But no, neither Harris nor Trump will be committing troops because not only would that end up being a disaster, but because doing so defeats the purpose of Israel. Israel exists in order to do America’s wetwork in the region. For reasons of both domestic and foreign policy, America can’t be seen as directly causing so much blood to spill in the region, so it gets outsourced to Israel. The CIA and State Dept know all this too well and neither Trump nor Harris are gonna cross them.
To the quotes from Trump about Kamala working tirelessly on a ceasefire... He's lying. No she isn't. If she somehow has been she has been both utterly ineffective and for some reason totally silent on her efforts. Trump lies all the time. If she was doing that it would be good but Trump is lying.
He's also not specific about what additional support it is he'd give Israel. I don't really believe he could give them more than Biden and Harris are. What, materially, could he do for them that Biden would refuse to? He didn't offer specifics atleast.
Democrats, including Kamala, have insinuated that Pro Gaza protesters are terrorists and called them antisemitic. Under Biden police brutalized and allowed the brutalizing of protestors by right wing mobs. Again this is Trump more or less agreeing with the Democrats. He's not offering specifics about how he'd be worse. He's promising to be but that's just because he wants to talk to his base.
And as to the last point regarding US troops... Well Biden is currently sending a THAAD missle defense system that necessarily requires American troops to operate. So looks like we heading there under the Democrats for sure.
He's also not specific about what additional support it is he'd give Israel. I don't really believe he could give them more than Biden and Harris are. What, materially, could he do for them that Biden would refuse to? He didn't offer specifics atleast.
So you're expecting restraint from the guy behind an attempted coup? The guy who had to be talked out of wanting to nuke North Korea? Listen, I'm not expecting to change anyone's mind - we're obviously coming at this from different perspectives. It's not just "both sides bad", it's that all sides are bad, or at least imperfect, and you need to make a choice.
I prefer the deeply problematic former law enforcement politician who will never be exactly what I want versus the nearly-octogenarian lying, cheating, clearly insane guy who I believe would be the biggest step towards a civil war, World War III, or both.
I want Palestinian lives to be saved, I want Ukrainian lives to be saved, I want American lives to be saved. I want clean air and water for the generations to come. I want everyone, not just Americans, to have a chance at a better life and control over their own lives and bodies. Chances are I may not get any of those things, but my best shot at getting any of them is to vote for the person who seems the most sane. It's the only choice I have.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Not only will Trump genocide thyjjyjyjyjyyjjyyjyjyjjyyj Middle East, he’ll germicide the USA as well
I voted PSL, enjoy literally being a member of the Nazi party.
As an anarchist, how the hell is collaborating with the election promoting revolution?
load more comments
(11 replies)
I know the article is a threadbare simile, but it more than misses the whole point of Galadriel's character in the books/movie. For even someone like Galadriel who meets this beyond-human ideal of beauty, purity and "goodness", the power of the One Ring to dominate life is so corrupting that it would simply turn her into a new Sauron. Which is why after failing to resist temptation, Galadriel leaves Middle Earth and goes into the West. If there's one point that is hammered in repeatedly throughout the Lord of the Rings, it's that such absolute power cannot be used for good, despite anyone's best intentions, and the only recourse is for it to be destroyed.
I mean it's not asking why should have the ring it's saying why should be trusted to rule
load more comments
(1 replies)
Both sides are bad because the elves had rings and Sauron had a ring. See, both the same!